Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more fluent, accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., use singular/plural and verb forms), avoid hesitation and repetition, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. For example mention what kinds of views you prefer or what memory you keep and why.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I especially like landscapes and cityscapes because composing the shot helps me notice details, and the photos preserve memories of trips and special moments.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then add a specific reason with linking words. Avoid filler words and repetition and make the reason clear and descriptive. Mention a concrete aspect of rural views (e.g., scenery, quietness) to make it specific.

例: I prefer rural views. For example, I love the quiet countryside and wide-open fields because they feel peaceful and let me relax away from the noise of the city.

提案: Clarify the main idea and use accurate vocabulary. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then explain with a specific reason. Correct confusing words (e.g., ‘buildings’, ‘natural scenery’) and avoid fragmentary sentences. If you want to add a wish, connect it logically with linking words.

例: I generally prefer views in my own country because I am familiar with the landscapes and culture. However, I would like to visit other countries as well, for instance to see the Aurora Borealis in Norway because it is a unique natural phenomenon.

× I I like photograph very much because I like thinking about how to take a photos and I can remain my memories.

✓ I like photography very much because I enjoy thinking about how to take photos and I can preserve my memories.

Several issues: 'photograph' should be the noun 'photography' (use noun form), 'I I' is duplication (remove extra 'I'), 'thinking about how to take a photos' mixes gerund use and article/number errors — use 'enjoy thinking about how to take photos' (no article before plural 'photos'), and 'remain my memories' is incorrect verb choice; use 'preserve my memories' or 'keep my memories'. Use of gerund 'thinking' is correct but verb choice around it needed adjustment. Suggestion: Use 'enjoy' with gerund and the noun 'photography', and choose correct verb for 'preserve/keep' memories.

× Or it's different question for me, but I love rural, rural views because it's very, very beautiful and I can feel. Great. Oh great.

✓ That's a different question for me, but I prefer rural views because they are very beautiful and I feel great.

'Or it's different question for me' is ungrammatical and unclear; use 'That's a different question for me' or 'It depends'. 'I love rural, rural views' repeats 'rural' unnecessarily. 'Because it's very, very beautiful' has singular 'it' for plural 'views' — use 'they are very beautiful'. 'and I can feel. Great. Oh great.' is fragmented; combine into 'and I feel great.' Fix sentence structure and pronoun agreement. Suggestion: Avoid repetition, ensure subject-pronoun agreement (views -> they), and combine fragments into one coherent sentence.

× I prefer bills, chemical, cheese, natural in all country in my own country, but I want to visit. See Aurora.

✓ I prefer hills and natural scenery in my own country, but I want to visit other countries to see the Aurora.

Original contains many incorrect words and fragments: 'bills' likely intended 'hills'; 'chemical, cheese, natural' are wrong adjectives/nouns — likely 'natural' and 'scenery' needed; 'in all country in my own country' is ungrammatical — use 'in my own country' or 'in my country'. 'but I want to visit. See Aurora.' is a fragment; combine into 'but I want to visit other countries to see the Aurora.' Ensure correct verb forms and complete sentence structure. Suggestion: Use concrete nouns 'hills' and 'natural scenery', specify 'other countries' and use infinitive 'to see' for purpose.