Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Reduce filler words (like, uh) and avoid repetition. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., visit, explore, photograph) and use precise descriptions (sunlit parks, museum exhibits, snow-covered scenes).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often photograph sunlit parks because I like vibrant outdoor scenes, and I also take pictures of museum exhibits to capture detailed artworks. In winter I sometimes photograph snow-covered streets to record delicate snowflakes.

提案: Give a direct short answer first, then support it with one or two clear reasons using linking words. Remove fillers and awkward phrasing. Use precise vocabulary (riverside, streams, skyline, skyscrapers) and a single comparative statement rather than many hesitations.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I enjoy natural scenery. For instance, I like photographing riversides and small streams since they feel peaceful and have interesting textures, whereas skyscraper skylines feel less intimate.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetition. State your preference clearly, then give two specific contrasting examples with linking words (for example, for instance). Use correct words (rural, variety) and remove filler sounds. Be concise (no more than five sentences).

例: I prefer photographing views in my own country because it offers great variety. For example, the northern region has diverse rural landscapes like mountains and plains, while the eastern cities provide attractive urban scenes with historic buildings and waterfronts.

× Yes, I usually go to like different places to take pictures.

✓ Yes, I usually go to different places to take pictures.

Remove unnecessary filler 'like' before 'different places.' 'Like' here is a colloquial filler and not the gerund form; the correct phrasing is 'go to different places.' Suggest speaking more directly and avoiding filler words to improve clarity.

× So for example I usually will visit parks like a sunny day and I will go to museums to take pictures of the different masterpieces.

✓ For example, I usually visit parks on sunny days and go to museums to take pictures of different masterpieces.

Use 'visit parks on sunny days' instead of 'visit parks like a sunny day' (incorrect preposition and singular/plural mismatch). Remove unnecessary 'will' because habitual actions use simple present. Change 'the different masterpieces' to 'different masterpieces' because specificity is not required. Suggest using simple present for habitual actions and correct prepositions ('on sunny days').

× And in other occasion when it's snowing outside, I will also take pictures to capture the snowflakes.

✓ And on other occasions when it's snowing outside, I also take pictures to capture the snowflakes.

Use plural 'occasions' and preposition 'on other occasions.' For habitual or repeated actions, use simple present 'I also take' rather than 'I will also take.' This fits the general present-time preference described.

× Say I'm a person more into nature than the concrete world, the more specific I really enjoy the views like uh, near like uh, Riverside or a small stream comparing to the skyscrapers in like a really large City side.

✓ I am more into nature than the concrete world; more specifically, I enjoy views near a riverside or a small stream compared to skyscrapers in a large city.

Replace informal 'Say' and fillers 'like uh' with clearer phrasing. Use 'more specifically' for clarification. 'Riverside' should be lowercase and used without 'the' in this general sense; 'comparing to' is incorrect—use 'compared to.' 'City side' is not idiomatic; use 'city.' Also fix subject form 'I'm a person more into' to 'I am more into.' Suggestions: avoid filler words and use standard comparative phrasing.

× I would say that I prefer to use in my own country because in my own country, uh, it's, uh, it has like a lot of varieties.

✓ I would say that I prefer views in my own country because it has a lot of variety.

Remove unnecessary 'to use' after 'prefer'—the correct verb is 'prefer [something]' not 'prefer to use.' Eliminate fillers 'uh' and redundant pronouns 'it's, uh, it has.' Use 'a lot of variety' (uncountable) rather than 'a lot of varieties.' Suggest concise phrasing: 'I prefer views in my own country because it has a lot of variety.'

× If you want to take a look at the rule views, you can just go north and there are like a variety of selection for you to choose from.

✓ If you want to see rural views, you can just go north, and there is a variety of choices for you to choose from.

'Rule views' is likely a mispronunciation of 'rural views.' Use 'see' instead of 'take a look at' for brevity, or keep but correct. 'There are like a variety of selection' is ungrammatical: use 'there is a variety of choices' or 'there are various options.' Also avoid filler 'like.' Suggest using 'a variety of choices' or 'various options.'

× If you want to take a look at, uh, the more like city views, you can go to the east side of my country.

✓ If you want to see city views, you can go to the east side of my country.

Remove filler words and simplify 'the more like city views' to 'city views.' 'See' is a natural verb here. The phrase 'the east side of my country' is fine. Suggest concise phrasing and removing hedges like 'more like.'