Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations and repetition, and add one specific detail to support your answer. Use linking words (for example, and, because) only where needed. Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid filler sounds such as “uh” and “um.”

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photography helps me notice details I would otherwise miss. For example, I often photograph city skylines at sunset and keep the best shots in a digital album to share with friends.

提案: Give a single clear preference or explain that you like both with balanced reasons. Avoid unclear phrases like “urban rural areas” and fix vague examples. Use linking words (although, however, because) to structure your reasons and provide a relevant specific example.

例: I prefer rural views because the open landscapes and greenery help me relax and reduce stress. For example, I enjoy walking through nearby fields at weekends and taking photos of wildflowers and wide horizons.

提案: Answer directly and give clear reasons with specific details. Remove hesitations and unclear words (e.g., “PL.”). State why you prefer views abroad and add one concrete detail such as a place, scene, or planned trip to make your answer more believable and informative.

例: I prefer views in other countries, especially the USA, because I love its dramatic national parks and diverse landscapes. For instance, I hope to visit the Grand Canyon to photograph its colorful rock formations and vast scenery.

× I like taking pictures, uh, on different views because it's a very fascinating and uh, uh, I like it and the most of the time I take photo with my friends and, uh, sometimes with my family and I save it in my album.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views because it's very fascinating. I take photos with my friends most of the time, sometimes with my family, and I save them in my album.

The student used the wrong preposition 'on' with 'different views'; the correct preposition is 'of'. 'The most of the time' is incorrect; use 'most of the time' or 'usually'. 'Photo' should be plural 'photos' to match 'most of the time' (plural noun). Also replace the repeated filler words and run-on structure with clearer sentence breaks. Suggestion: use 'of' after 'pictures' and ensure noun plurality matches context.

× for example, Andrew walking by fields.

✓ For example, Andrew is walking by the fields.

The original lacks appropriate verb form and article. 'Fields' can take the definite article 'the' when referring to specific visible fields, and 'Andrew walking' lacks an auxiliary verb for present progressive. This is both singular/plural and verb form; correct to 'Andrew is walking by the fields.' Suggestion: include the auxiliary 'is' for continuous actions and add articles when referring to particular nouns.

× Well, uh, I like both views in rural areas and uh, urban areas, but most I like urban rural areas because the open landscapes and the greenery, uh, help me relax and reduce stress.

✓ Well, I like views in both rural and urban areas, but I prefer rural areas because the open landscapes and greenery help me relax and reduce stress.

The original misorders 'both views in rural areas and urban areas' and uses 'most I like urban rural areas' which is unclear. Use 'views in both rural and urban areas' for correct word order. 'Prefer' expresses choice better than 'most I like'. Remove redundant 'the' before 'greenery' and unnecessary filler words. Suggestion: place 'both' before the items and use 'prefer' for comparisons.

× I take photo with my friends and, uh, sometimes with my family and I save it in my album.

✓ I take photos with my friends and sometimes with my family, and I save them in my album.

Pronoun 'it' doesn't agree with plural noun 'photos'; use 'them'. Also 'photo' should be plural 'photos' to match context. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents.

× Oh, that's an interesting question. Umm, to be honest, I prefer another country, especially USA, uh, because USA is a very beautiful and uh, very good PL. good place for uh, journey for for trip, uh, I like it very and I plan it.

✓ Oh, that's an interesting question. To be honest, I prefer other countries, especially the USA, because it is a very beautiful place for traveling. I like it a lot and I am planning a trip there.

Multiple sentence structure issues: 'another country' is awkward when speaking generally; use 'other countries'. 'USA' needs the definite article 'the USA'. 'very good PL. good place for uh, journey for for trip' is ungrammatical; simplify to 'a very beautiful place for traveling' or 'a great place to travel'. 'I like it very' is incomplete; use 'I like it a lot'. 'I plan it' should be 'I am planning a trip there' for clear future arrangement. Suggestion: break into clear sentences, use correct articles and common collocations like 'place to travel' and 'plan a trip'.