Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “click or capture”, “memorable memory”) and fix grammar (e.g., verb forms and sentence endings).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often visit the mountains to photograph sunrises and sunsets because the changing light creates dramatic colors and moods. I usually plan my shots in advance and stay until the light changes to capture the best moments.

提案: Improve clarity and coherence by using a clear topic sentence and logical linking words. Avoid repetitive structures and awkward phrasing. Provide one or two specific reasons or examples to support your preference, and keep to 2–4 sentences total.

例: I prefer urban views because I grew up in a metropolitan city and enjoy the energy of busy streets. For instance, I like photographing architecture, neon lights and people commuting, which show how city life changes throughout the day.

提案: Be specific and avoid fillers (uh, and). Use one clear comparison sentence and provide concrete examples of places you like at home and places you would like to visit abroad. Check pronunciation/spelling (e.g., “mountains”) and keep responses concise.

例: I generally prefer photographing scenes in my own country because I know the best spots and seasons. However, I would love to visit Canada to photograph Niagara Falls. At home, I enjoy shooting beaches and mountain landscapes, especially during golden hour when the light is most striking.

× I love taking pictures of different views. I visit mountains very frequently to click or capture pictures and making them into a memorable memory.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views. I visit mountains very frequently to take pictures and make them into memorable memories.

The sentence mixes parallel verb forms incorrectly: 'to click or capture pictures and making them' uses infinitives ('to click', 'to capture') then a gerund ('making'). For parallel structure, use the same form: 'to take pictures and make them'. Also 'click' is informal; 'take' is more natural. Use plural 'memories' for multiple pictures.

× On mountains I usually capture a set of sunrise and sunset as it shows a natural beauty which.

✓ On mountains I usually capture sunrises and sunsets because they show natural beauty.

Original sentence has awkward order and an unfinished relative clause 'which.' Use plural 'sunrises and sunsets' and connect cause with 'because'. Simplify to 'they show natural beauty' for clarity and grammatical completeness.

× Basically I'm from a metropolitan city and I love fast-paced moving environment.

✓ Basically I'm from a metropolitan city and I love the fast-paced environment.

The phrase 'fast-paced moving environment' is redundant and awkward. Use the adjective phrase 'fast-paced environment' and include the definite article 'the' to refer to that general environment.

× So as my hometown was in a rural area so as I compare myself while staying in urban area, I prefer capturing urban areas and it shows how our life is.

✓ Since my hometown was in a rural area, and now I live in an urban area, I prefer photographing urban scenes because they show how our lives are.

Original uses repeated 'so as' and unclear clauses. Replace with clear subordinating conjunction 'Since' and simplify sequence: contrast past rural hometown with current urban residence. Use 'photographing urban scenes' and plural 'lives' for general statement.

× I prefer views of my own country, but I want to visit other countries like Canada to capture natural beauty like Niagara Falls, which is the, uh, natural beauty of Canada.

✓ I prefer views of my own country, but I want to visit other countries like Canada to capture natural attractions like Niagara Falls, which is a natural wonder of Canada.

Avoid filler 'uh' and repetition 'natural beauty... natural beauty.' Use 'natural attractions' and 'natural wonder' for variety and clarity. Use 'a' instead of 'the' because Niagara Falls is one of Canada's natural wonders.

× But in our country, I love capturing and, and uh, experiencing beach, MO mountains. That's it.

✓ But in my country, I love photographing and experiencing beaches and mountains.

Remove fillers 'and, and uh,' correct 'our country' to 'my country' to match earlier 'I prefer views of my own country.' Use plural 'beaches and mountains' and proper verbs 'photographing and experiencing.' Remove 'MO' which seems erroneous and 'That's it' which is unnecessary.