Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and reduce fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail and a linking phrase. Avoid repeating 'enjoy' and filler sounds like 'uh'.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing scenic views when I go for a walk or a jog. For example, I often stop to capture sunrise scenes near the river because the light creates nice reflections.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and concise supporting reason. Correct grammar (singular/plural, article use) and avoid repetition. Add one specific example and finish the sentence properly.

例: I prefer rural views because I live in a busy urban area and enjoy the calm and greenery of the countryside. For instance, I like photographing quiet fields and old farmhouses, which feel relaxing compared with city streets.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, correct awkward phrasing, and add a specific example or reason using a linking word. Remove extra words like 'being there' and fix article errors.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has many natural treasures. For example, the coastal cliffs and nearby national parks offer dramatic landscapes that I love to photograph.

× For me a rural areas are more fun and interesting because I currently live in an urban, very hectic and busy urban area so this isn't really interesting for me anymore.

✓ For me, rural areas are more fun and interesting because I currently live in a very hectic and busy urban area, so they aren't really interesting to me anymore.

The original sentence mixed singular and plural: 'a rural areas' combines the singular article 'a' with plural 'areas'. Remove the article 'a' when using the plural 'rural areas'. Also replace the redundant 'urban' and use the plural pronoun 'they' to refer back to 'rural areas'. Use 'aren't' (plural) to match 'rural areas'. Add commas for clarity and natural flow.

× My own country has a lot of natural treasures that I really enjoy being there and using the those views, so I prefer my country.

✓ My own country has a lot of natural treasures that I really enjoy visiting and using, so I prefer my country.

The phrase 'enjoy being there' is awkward and 'using the those views' has article errors: 'the those' is redundant. Replace with 'enjoy visiting' (verb collocation) and remove the extra article. 'Using the views' is unclear; 'using' alone may still be odd but acceptable in context; simplified to 'visiting and using' to preserve meaning. Ensure no redundant articles appear.

× I would really enjoy being in a rural area and.

✓ I would really enjoy being in a rural area.

The original sentence ends with an unfinished conjunction 'and.', creating a fragment. Remove the trailing 'and' to complete the sentence. Ensure sentences are complete and do not end with dangling conjunctions.