Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and one brief example. Fix grammar (verb forms and sentence order) and avoid redundancy. Use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I take pictures when I visit new places because they help me preserve memories, and I often look through my photo albums to remember trips. For example, last year I photographed a coastal sunset and later used those photos to show friends where I had been.

提案: Give a direct opinion first and then contrast with a clear reason using linking words. Provide a specific example of an urban and a rural scene to make your answer more concrete. Correct word forms and avoid trailing or incomplete phrases.

例: I like both urban and rural views. In cities I enjoy photographing interesting architecture, for example a modern glass building I recently saw, while in the countryside I prefer natural scenes such as waterfalls or rolling hills, which offer peaceful, photogenic views.

提案: Clarify your meaning and correct word choice (e.g., 'prefer' instead of 'pray'). Give a direct statement about preference, explain why with a specific reason, and avoid repetition. Use one or two sentences only and a linking word to connect the cause and effect.

例: I prefer views in other countries because traveling abroad feels more novel to me. For instance, when I visited Japan I was fascinated by the historic temples and took many photos to capture those unique scenes as lasting memories.

× Yes I do like whenever I go to the new place is I always try to take the photos because it can be my memories.

✓ Yes, I do. Whenever I go to a new place, I always try to take photos because they can be my memories.

The original sentence contains extra or incorrect verb forms and awkward structure. 'do like' can be simplified to 'do' or 'do like' followed by proper clause; better to split into two sentences. 'the new place' should be 'a new place' for general meaning (article error, but within present participle/structure issue the correction addresses flow). 'take the photos' is unnatural; use 'take photos'. 'it can be my memories' uses singular 'it' with plural 'memories' and incorrect copula; use 'they can be my memories'. Suggestion: break into clear clauses, use appropriate articles, and match pronouns with their referents.

× Normally I go through my albums often so it's good to be reminded.

✓ Normally I look through my albums often, so it's good to be reminded.

'go through' is acceptable but 'go through my albums often' is fine; main issue was word choice and clarity. 'go through' can remain but 'look through' is more natural here. Also add a comma before 'so' to join clauses. Suggestion: use more natural phrasal verbs and punctuation to improve readability.

× I like both to be honest because I live in urban area but still if I see new architectures or new buildings I'm very interested so I take pictures.

✓ I like both, to be honest, because I live in an urban area. If I see new architecture or new buildings, I'm very interested, so I take pictures.

'urban area' needs the indefinite article 'an'. 'architectures' is incorrect in English; 'architecture' is an uncountable noun when referring to style or structures in general. Sentence run-on: it should be split into two sentences or connected with proper punctuation. Suggestion: add articles where needed, use uncountable nouns correctly, and break long sentences into shorter ones.

× Whereas I love rural areas too because they have unique sceneries which is like waterfalls or like.

✓ I also love rural areas because they have unique scenery, such as waterfalls.

'Whereas' is used incorrectly at the start of this sentence; 'also' or 'too' is more appropriate. 'sceneries' is incorrect—use the uncountable 'scenery'. 'which is like waterfalls or like' is incomplete and ungrammatical; use 'such as waterfalls' to introduce examples. Suggestion: use correct discourse markers, uncountable nouns, and clear example phrases.

× To be honest, I pray for other countries because I used to live in my country too long.

✓ To be honest, I prefer other countries because I lived in my country for too long.

'pray for other countries' is incorrect in this context; 'prefer' conveys the intended meaning. 'used to live in my country too long' mixes 'used to' (habit in past) with 'too long' (duration); better to say 'lived in my country for too long' to indicate duration. Suggestion: choose verbs that match intended meaning and use clear past tense expressions for duration.

× So for me it's not really a new thing so I'm not really interested in anymore.

✓ So for me it's not really new, and I'm not really interested in it anymore.

The original sentence omits the pronoun 'it' after 'interested in', creating an incomplete verb phrase. Also 'a new thing' is awkward; 'new' alone suffices. Use 'and' to connect clauses instead of repeating 'so'. Suggestion: include necessary pronouns and streamline expressions.

× But whenever I go to the new countries I feel like amazing.

✓ But whenever I go to new countries, I feel amazed.

'the new countries' is incorrect; use 'new countries' generally. 'feel like amazing' is ungrammatical: use 'feel amazing' (adjective) or 'feel amazed' (passive feeling). 'Feel amazed' better conveys being impressed. Suggestion: remove unnecessary articles and use correct adjective or participle forms after 'feel'.

× So I take so many photos in general.

✓ So I take a lot of photos in general.

'so many' is acceptable but collocationally 'a lot of photos' sounds more natural here. No present participle error but this improves fluency. Suggestion: use common collocations to sound more natural.

× Also it can be my good memories.

✓ Also, they can be good memories for me.

'it' refers ambiguously to 'photos' (plural), so use 'they'. 'my good memories' is awkward; 'good memories for me' is clearer. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and place possessive expressions naturally.