Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, and organize supporting detail with a linking word. Also use correct grammar and natural phrasing (e.g., say “reminds me of” instead of “remember me”). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they remind me of special moments in my life. For example, a photo of a beach can bring back the feelings I had that day, so I often take pictures to preserve memories.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, correct grammar (use “I prefer” not “I am prefer”), and support with one or two specific reasons using linking words like “because” or “for example.” Avoid vague phrases such as “real society.”

例: I prefer views in urban areas because cities show a wide variety of people and activities. For example, tall buildings, busy markets and street performers reveal different lifestyles and attitudes that I find interesting to photograph.

提案: Answer directly and use clear reasoning. Fix grammar and remove fillers (uh, you you). Provide a specific reason or example of how photographing local views helps tourism or personal understanding. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because local photos can showcase our culture and attract visitors. For example, sharing pictures of traditional festivals and landscapes can help promote tourism and pride in our heritage.

× 'Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because it's Remember Me and my past memories and and everything and everywhere I can go it will remind me for where I am.'

✓ 'Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because they remind me of my past memories and of the places I have been.'

'Sentence structure errors: the original sentence is run-on and uses incorrect phrases like "it's Remember Me" and "remind me for where I am." I split the ideas into a clear subject and verb: "they remind me" (referring to pictures). I replaced "Remember Me" with "remind me" and changed "remind me for where I am" to the correct prepositional phrase "remind me of the places I have been." Suggestion: simplify into shorter clauses, ensure pronoun reference is clear (what "they" refers to), and use correct prepositions (remind of).'

× 'I am prefer reviews in urban areas because in urban areas a lot of people living there and because of this I can see the real society living in different kinds of society and attitude that living in the urban areas.'

✓ 'I prefer views in urban areas because many people live there, and I can see how different social groups and attitudes exist in the city.'

'Present tense and sentence structure errors: "I am prefer" is incorrect; the correct present tense is "I prefer" (simple present). "Reviews" should be "views." "a lot of people living there" is a fragment; it should be "many people live there." I rephrased the second clause to avoid repetition and ungrammatical phrases like "different kinds of society and attitude that living." Suggestion: use simple present for preferences, correct vocabulary (views), and form complete clauses with subject + verb.'

× 'I am prefer views in my own country because you can you you can promote your own tourism industry to other countries.'

✓ 'I prefer views in my own country because you can promote your tourism industry to other countries.'

'Present tense and sentence structure errors: "I am prefer" is wrong; use "I prefer." The original also contained repeated words "you you you can." I removed redundancy and made the sentence concise. Suggestion: use simple present for general preferences and avoid filler repetitions.'

× 'So it's it, it must be better for you though. Uh, promote or create your own views in.'

✓ 'So, it must be better for you to promote or create tourist attractions in your country.'

'Sentence structure errors: the original is disfluent with repeated filler words ("it's it, it") and an incomplete final phrase "create your own views in." I completed the idea by specifying "tourist attractions" and adding "in your country" to make the purpose clear. Suggestion: remove filler words, complete the object of the verb, and choose clearer nouns ("tourist attractions" instead of "views").'