Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng, mạch lạc và ngắn gọn hơn; sửa lỗi từ vựng và ngữ pháp, tránh từ không đúng như “skins Watch catering” và dùng liên từ phù hợp để nối ý. Nên bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sau đó thêm 1–2 câu hỗ trợ nêu ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ: bầu trời nhiều mây tạo hiệu ứng về ánh sáng). Giữ tối đa 4–5 câu, dùng từ vựng phù hợp như “stunning views”, “dramatic skies”, “contrast” và sửa động từ về thì và dạng phù hợp.

例: I really enjoy taking photos of different views, especially when I'm out with friends. We often discover stunning scenes, such as dramatic cloudy skies where the contrast of light makes the images breathtaking. I like experimenting with composition to capture that mood.

提案: Cần loại bỏ lỗi ngữ pháp và từ sai (ví dụ “if I had shoes” vô nghĩa) và giảm tiếng lắp. Dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng như “I prefer rural areas” hoặc “I like both, but prefer…” rồi giải thích lý do với chi tiết cụ thể: không khí trong lành, cảnh thiên nhiên, ví dụ chụp ruộng lúa, trang trại. Sử dụng thì và động từ đúng (prefer, take photos), tránh lặp từ, dùng liên từ như “because”, “for example”.

例: I prefer rural areas because they offer fresh air and beautiful natural scenery. For example, when I take photos in the countryside I often visit rice fields and farms to capture peaceful landscapes and everyday rural life.

提案: Câu trả lời cần mạch lạc hơn, sửa lỗi số nhiều/số ít (“my countries” → “my country”), tránh lặp và tiếng ấp úng. Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (e.g. I enjoy views at home but I also like seeing landscapes abroad), rồi nêu lý do cụ thể và ví dụ các quốc gia bạn muốn đến, kèm theo điều bạn muốn khám phá (landscapes, culture). Giữ 2–3 câu hỗ trợ, dùng từ vựng như “discover”, “landscapes”, “culture”.

例: I enjoy the views in my country, but I also like exploring landscapes abroad. For instance, I would love to visit Europe, Japan and China to discover different landscapes and cultural scenes, which would inspire my photography.

× I love taking photos of different views, especially when I'm out with my friends because we often find stunning skins Watch catering, for example.

✓ I love taking photos of different views, especially when I'm out with my friends because we often find stunning scenes, for example.

The student used the wrong words 'skins Watch catering' which are not meaningful here. Replace with 'scenes' to refer to visual views. Also remove extraneous words. Suggestion: choose vocabulary that matches meaning and keep sentence concise. (This maps to sentence structure errors - ID 26).

× I particularly enjoy photography. Dramatic cloudy skies after contrast and light make the pictures look breathtaking.

✓ I particularly enjoy photography. Dramatic cloudy skies, with strong contrast and light, make the pictures look breathtaking.

Missing linking words and punctuation caused fragment-like phrasing. Add 'with' to show relationship and commas to connect the phrase. Use 'strong contrast' for clarity. This is a sentence structure and article/word form issue (ID 26 and 22).

× To be honest, I love both, but if I had shoes, I will prefer rural area because it's had a lot of natural view and uh, umm so fresh air.

✓ To be honest, I love both, but if I had the choice, I would prefer rural areas because they have a lot of natural scenery and very fresh air.

Incorrect conditional form 'if I had shoes' is wrong word and mixing tenses 'will prefer' is inconsistent with hypothetical. Use 'if I had the choice' and 'would prefer'. Also pluralize 'areas' and use 'they have' for subject-verb agreement; 'natural scenery' is the correct collocation. This involves conditional/future tense and singular/plural and subject-verb agreement issues (IDs 7, 1, 27).

× When I taking picture of uh, natural view in rural area, I will go to the rice field and uh, taking picture of the farm.

✓ When I take pictures of natural scenes in rural areas, I go to the rice fields and take pictures of the farms.

Use base verb 'take' after 'when' for present habitual action, pluralize 'pictures' and 'rice fields', and keep consistent present tense 'go' and 'take'. Avoid mixing 'will' with 'when' for habitual actions. This is a present tense and verb form issue (IDs 6 and 8).

× I love my countries, but I also want to try another view in, in other countries.

✓ I love my country, but I also want to see views in other countries.

Use singular 'country' when referring to one's own nation; 'my countries' suggests multiple. Replace 'try another view in' with 'see views in' for natural English. This is a singular/plural and word choice issue (ID 1 and 26).

× I love Europe and I love Japan and even China.

✓ I love Europe, Japan, and China.

Combine list with commas for fluency. Original repetition 'I love' is not incorrect but is wordy; this is stylistic and sentence structure (ID 26).

× I love the view and uh, like then I want to rediscovery, discover, uh, land, uh, the landscape, the culture and everything about them.

✓ I love the views and I want to rediscover the landscape, the culture, and everything about those places.

Use verb 'rediscover' not 'rediscovery' (noun) and avoid repeating 'discover'. Pluralize 'views' and use 'those places' to refer to countries. This fixes verb form and sentence structure (IDs 9 and 26).