Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid irrelevant phrases (e.g. “bingo shows social butterfly”). Use correct verb tenses and plural/singular forms.

例: Yes, I do. I often take photos on my phone while travelling because I enjoy capturing landscapes and city scenes. For example, I like to photograph sunsets and interesting architecture, and then I post the best shots on Instagram to share with friends.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then give two specific reasons connected by linking words. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g. countryside, fields, rivers, temples, parks) and correct grammar. Avoid vague similes unless they are natural.

例: I prefer rural views. I find countryside landscapes, such as open fields and rivers, more relaxing, and I enjoy photographing historic temples and small village parks because they feel peaceful and authentic.

提案: Answer directly and complete the idea. Explain one or two specific reasons with clear linking words (because, so, therefore). Fix grammar (plural/singular, tense) and avoid unfinished sentences. Mention examples of what you learn or experience.

例: I prefer taking photos in other countries because travelling exposes me to different landscapes and cultures, which broadens my perspective. For instance, photographing traditional markets in Japan or coastal scenery in Greece has taught me about local life and improved my photography skills.

× Definitely yes. I love capturing different view in my mobile phone especially when I was when I am traveling.

✓ Definitely yes. I love capturing different views on my mobile phone, especially when I am traveling.

The errors are plural and preposition issues: 'different view' should be plural 'different views' (singular/plural) and 'in my mobile phone' should be 'on my mobile phone' (incorrect use of prepositions). Also the tense phrase 'when I was when I am traveling' is incorrect and redundant; use 'when I am traveling' to match present habitual action. Suggestion: use plural for countable nouns, use 'on' for devices, and keep tense consistent for habitual actions.

× I love to click different scenery picture and bingo shows social butterfly.

✓ I love to take pictures of different sceneries, and I often post them on social media to show that I am a social butterfly.

Multiple issues: 'click' informal but acceptable; more importantly 'different scenery picture' needs plural 'pictures' and 'scenery' needs 'scenic' or use 'sceneries'/'scenic places' (incorrect use of adjectives/nouns). 'bingo shows social butterfly' is ungrammatical (sentence structure error). Correction uses present simple habitual 'I love' and clarifies purpose 'to show that I am a social butterfly.' Suggestion: use clear noun phrases and complete clauses to express ideas.

× I love to post those photo on my social platform such as Instagram.

✓ I love to post those photos on my social platforms such as Instagram.

'photo' should be plural 'photos' (singular/plural issue) and 'social platform' is better plural 'social platforms' or 'on social media' (word choice and preposition consistency). Kept preposition 'on' which is correct for platforms. Suggestion: match noun number with determiner and use standard phrase 'on social media'.

× Well, I prefer to click a different view in countryside area because I love natural scenery like field, rivers and other kind of things like temple park and etcetera which make feel fresh as a Daisy.

✓ Well, I prefer to take pictures of different views in the countryside because I love natural scenery like fields, rivers and other things such as temples and parks, which make me feel as fresh as a daisy.

Many errors: 'click a different view' should be 'take pictures of different views' (verb choice and plural). 'in countryside area' needs article 'the countryside' (article error) and 'field, rivers' should be plural 'fields, rivers' (singular/plural). 'other kind of things' should be 'other things' or 'other kinds of things' (quantifier/adjective). 'temple park' unclear; use 'temples and parks'. Missing subject 'me' in 'make feel' (pronoun issue). Capitalization 'Daisy' should be lowercase 'daisy'. Suggestion: use articles with geographical nouns, pluralize countable nouns, and include subject for verbs like 'make me feel'.

× To be honest, I prefer to capture a view in other country because I love to explore a different country landscape as well as culture, which enhance my knowledge.

✓ To be honest, I prefer to capture views in other countries because I love to explore a country's landscape as well as its culture, which enhances my knowledge.

Errors include article and number: 'a view in other country' should be 'views in other countries' (singular/plural and article). 'a different country landscape' needs possessive 'a country's landscape' or 'different countries' landscapes'. 'culture' referring to that country should use possessive 'its culture'. Verb 'enhance' needs third person singular 'enhances' to agree with subject 'which' referring to exploring (subject-verb agreement/third person singular). Suggestion: use possessives for 'country's', pluralize when speaking generally, and ensure verb agrees with its subject.

× Not only my knowledge but also my comfort zone and I feel very exhausting and.

✓ Not only does it expand my knowledge, but it also expands my comfort zone, although I often feel very exhausted afterwards.

Original sentence is fragmented and ungrammatical. 'Not only my knowledge but also my comfort zone' lacks a main verb and subject linkage (sentence structure). 'I feel very exhausting' is incorrect because 'exhausting' describes something that causes fatigue; use 'exhausted' to describe the speaker's state (adjective use). Added 'afterwards' to complete the thought. Suggestion: use full clauses with subjects and verbs, and choose correct adjective ('exhausted' for feeling tired).