Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答总体清晰并有观点，但存在语法和表达不够自然的问题，且有冗余。改进点：1) 句子更简洁自然，避免重复（例如“不少于一年的时间”与“about more than a year now”重复且不地道）；2) 动词时态和结构要准确（如“I have been prioritizing tidiness for more than a year”或“I started keeping things tidy about a year ago”）；3) 数字表达要准确明确（将“around 3 * a week”改为“about three times a week”）；4) 加入连接词使衔接更自然，例如“because”或“so”引出原因或结果；5) 控制答案长度，不超过5句。示例要体现更地道的词汇和连贯性。

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy. I started paying more attention to tidiness about a year ago because I found that a clutter-free space helps my mood and concentration. For example, I usually clean my apartment about three times a week, focusing on tidying surfaces and putting things back in their places. This routine makes it easier for me to relax and work at home.

提案: 回答直接但有口语填充词（如“Uh”）和语法错误，且表述冗长。改进点：1) 避免无意义的填充词，直接给出回答（如直接说“No”或“No, not really”）；2) 注意从句时态和动词形式（应为“didn't push me hard”或“didn't pressure me”）；3) 精简表达，去掉“etcetera”并给出1–2个具体例子；4) 可以用连接词解释原因（e.g. “because”）并加一两句后果或对比，使答案丰富但仍简洁；5) 控制在5句内。

例: No, not really. I grew up in a relaxed household where my parents didn't pressure me to keep my room spotless because they focused more on my studies and well-being. As a result, I learned tidying habits later in life and only started being more organized in the past year.

× Yes, and I have been prioritizing tidiness for about more than a year now.

✓ Yes, I have been prioritizing tidiness for more than a year now.

句子中使用了冗余的时间表达“about more than a year now”。“about”和“more than”不能同时使用，会造成语义重复或冲突。应该根据说话者意图选择其一：如果想表达大约一年多，可用“more than a year”或“about a year”。另外，去掉并列连词“and”后句子更简洁，符合英语习惯。建议使用“have been prioritizing... for more than a year”来表示从过去延续到现在的状态。

× As I grew older, the more I realize my environment has a direct impact on my emotional well-being.

✓ As I have grown older, the more I realize my environment has a direct impact on my emotional well-being.

原句中先用过去时态“grew older”而后用现在时态“realize”，时态不一致。此类表示随着时间变化导致现在仍然成立的句子，应使用现在完成时态“have grown older”来表示从过去开始并持续到现在的变化，从而与现在时的“realize”保持一致。建议把“grew”改为“have grown”。

× For example, I clean my apartment around 3 * a week.

✓ For example, I clean my apartment around three times a week.

原句中用“around 3 * a week”结构不正确且含有符号“*”。表达每周次数应使用“three times a week”或“about three times a week”。“around”表示大约时应放在数量前面或使用“about”。数字应写为单词形式（口语写作可用数字），并补全“times”。建议改为“around three times a week”。

× Although I'm shy to admit, I grew up in a separate household where my parents didn't push me too hard or gave me too much pressure on doing things well and on time, such as tidying up my room or doing laundry and etcetera.

✓ Although I'm shy to admit it, I grew up in a separate household where my parents didn't push me too hard or give me too much pressure to do things well and on time, such as tidying up my room or doing laundry, etc.

句中有几处问题：1) “I'm shy to admit”后缺少宾语，应该是“admit it”。2) 并列动词时时态和形式需一致，原句“didn't push me... or gave me...”中前半为助动词否定过去时，后半应使用动词原形“give”而非过去式“gave”。3) 表示“施加压力去做某事”应使用不定式“pressure to do”而不是“pressure on doing”。4) “and etcetera”冗余，“etc.”即可或删去。故需修正为“don't push... or give... pressure to do...”。