Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid fillers (umm, uh) and repetition, and correct verb forms and prepositions (e.g., 'when I feel down' not 'down of myself'; 'it makes me calm' not 'it's make me').

例: I usually prefer happy music because it helps lift my mood. For example, after a stressful day at work I listen to upbeat songs to relax and feel refreshed, which makes it easier to unwind.

提案: Answer directly, fix grammar and sentence structure, and provide specific detail. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' and avoid vague phrases. Correct collocations ('listen to music', 'main hobby' -> 'main hobbies', 'upbeat songs'). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms boost my energy. For example, after a bad day I listen to upbeat pop or electronic tracks to lift my spirits and motivate me to keep going.

× Usually I prefer happy music because when I feel down of myself, umm, it's make me very calm and it's my my, it's made my mind uh, very refreshed.

✓ Usually I prefer happy music because when I feel down, it makes me very calm and refreshes my mind.

Errors: incorrect phrase 'feel down of myself' and subject-verb disagreement 'it's make' and awkward sequence 'it's made my mind very refreshed'. Corrections: use 'feel down' (common expression) and remove unnecessary reflexive 'of myself'. Use singular subject 'it' with third person singular verb 'makes'. Replace 'it's made my mind very refreshed' with active present simple 'refreshes my mind' to match habitual preference. Suggestion: keep verbs in simple present for habitual statements and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Umm, it helps me to umm, cheer up after a long day and that's why I usually prefer happy music.

✓ It helps me cheer up after a long day, and that's why I usually prefer happy music.

Error: unnecessary infinitival 'to' before bare verb 'cheer' after 'helps'. After 'help' both 'to' + base verb and base verb without 'to' are possible; in this casual context the bare verb is more natural. Removed filler 'umm' and tightened punctuation. Suggestion: use 'helps me cheer up' or 'helps me to cheer up' consistently; avoid filler words in formal responses.

× Yes, happy music make me feel more excited because when I have a bad day I usually prefer to listen music.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because when I have a bad day I usually prefer to listen to music.

Errors: subject-verb agreement 'happy music make' should be 'makes' (third person singular). Also missing preposition 'to' after 'listen'. Corrections: use 'makes' and 'listen to music'. Suggestion: ensure third person singular verbs end with -s in present simple and remember 'listen' requires 'to' when followed by an object.

× It's one of my main hobby.

✓ It's one of my main hobbies.

Error: 'one of my main hobby' mixes singular 'one of' with singular 'hobby'. After 'one of' the noun must be plural ('hobbies'). Suggestion: use plural nouns after 'one of' constructions and ensure correct plural form 'hobbies'.

× I usually prefer listening beat up song after a long day when I when I have so much.

✓ I usually prefer listening to upbeat songs after a long day when I have had a lot to deal with.

Multiple issues: missing preposition 'to' after 'listening', incorrect adjective order/choice 'beat up' (means damaged) instead of 'upbeat', singular/plural mismatch 'song' should be 'songs' to match general preference, and incomplete clause 'when I when I have so much' is unclear. Correction: 'listening to upbeat songs' and rewrite the time clause to 'when I have had a lot to deal with' to convey meaning. Suggestion: use 'upbeat' for lively music, include 'to' after 'listening', use plural for general statements, and complete clauses to express what you have 'so much' of (e.g., work or stress).