Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Зверніть увагу на плавність мови та видаліть повтори й заповнювачі («uh», «umm»). Почніть з чіткої тематичної фрази, потім наведіть 1–2 конкретні приклади і заверште логічним висновком. Уникайте артикля перед загальними іменниками, наприклад «a happy music» → «happy music». Також скоротіть довгі фрази, щоб відповідь не перевищувала 5 речень. Наприклад, дайте конкретні приклади жанрів або пісень і коротко поясніть причину вибору.

例: I usually prefer happy music when I'm in a good mood, and slow music when I'm feeling sad. For instance, I listen to upbeat pop or electronic songs to boost my energy, while mellow acoustic tracks help me relax. If I had to choose one, I'd pick happy music because it helps me concentrate and motivates me to do chores.

提案: Покращіть зв'язність, використовуючи слова-зв'язки (for example, however, although) і уникайте зайвих заповнювачів. Дайте більш конкретні приклади того, як музика впливає на настрій (наприклад, збільшення енергії або покращення концентрації), і заверште коротким узагальненням. Також замініть розмовні фрази («not a 100%») на ясніші вирази («not always»).

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited, especially when I'm in a bad mood. For example, I often play energetic pop or dance tracks to lift my spirits and increase my energy. However, it doesn't always work—if I'm deeply upset, upbeat music may not completely change my mood.

× It usually depends. When I'm in a good mood mood I prefer happy music, but when I'm uh sad, I usually listen to slow music.

✓ It usually depends. When I'm in a good mood I prefer happy music, but when I'm sad I usually listen to slow music.

The sentence contains a repeated word 'mood mood' and unnecessary hesitation 'uh', which are sentence structure issues (ID 26) and also affect fluency. Remove the duplicate word and filler to create a clear sentence. Suggestion: read the sentence slowly before speaking to avoid repetition and reduce fillers. Grammar problem type ID:26

× But if I had to choose only one, I would pick a happy music because it's uh, helps me to concentrate and also it motivates me to do some chores.

✓ But if I had to choose only one, I would pick happy music because it helps me concentrate and also motivates me to do some chores.

Using 'a' before an uncountable noun 'music' is incorrect (Article errors, ID 22). Also, 'it's helps' combines a pronoun + verb incorrectly; the correct structure is either 'it helps' or 'it's helpful'. The filler 'uh' should be removed. Suggestions: do not use the indefinite article with uncountable nouns and use the correct verb form after the subject (it + base verb). Also omit fillers for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Happy music absolutely makes me feel more excited, especially when I'm in a bad mood.

✓ Happy music absolutely makes me feel more excited, especially when I'm in a bad mood.

This sentence is grammatically correct; it uses present tense appropriately to describe a habitual or general reaction. No correction needed. Explanation: the present simple 'makes' correctly expresses general truth or habitual response. Grammar problem type ID:6

× I start to play some energetic and pop music and it cheers me up.

✓ I start playing some energetic pop music and it cheers me up.

'Start to play' is acceptable, but 'start playing' is more natural in this context (Present participle usage, ID 10). Also 'energetic and pop music' is an awkward adjective combination; 'energetic pop music' is clearer. Suggestion: use the -ing form after 'start' for natural flow and combine adjectives properly. Grammar problem type ID:10

× But also when I'm already sad and I listen to this music, it's umm not a 100% that it will cheer me up and change.

✓ But when I'm already sad and I listen to that music, it's not certain that it will cheer me up or change my mood.

Several issues: 'this music' vs 'that music' — use 'that' when referring back (sentence structure, ID 26). 'It's umm not a 100%' is informal and ungrammatical; use 'it's not certain' or 'it's not 100% certain' (Sentence structure/Adverb placement, IDs 26 and 20). The final word 'change' needs an object: 'change my mood'. Suggestion: avoid fillers, use clear expressions like 'not certain' or 'not 100% certain', and include the object after 'change'. Grammar problem type ID:6