Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and simplify your response. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., which you prefer or that it depends on your mood). Use correct grammar and coherent linking words to explain when you choose each type of music. Keep answers to no more than 3–4 concise sentences and include specific examples or reasons (e.g., to relax, to celebrate).

例: I prefer different kinds of music depending on my mood. For example, when I feel happy I like upbeat, energetic songs because they boost my energy and motivation. However, if I'm feeling tired or reflective I often choose sad, slow music to relax and think.

提案: Give a direct answer followed by a brief explanation and a specific example. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g., "upbeat" or "energetic" instead of "high music") and correct grammar. Add a linking phrase like "for example" or "because" to make your reasoning coherent.

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms increase my energy levels. For example, when I listen to fast pop songs while exercising, I feel more motivated and energetic.

× It's different for my mood.

✓ It depends on my mood.

Original sentence uses 'It's different for my mood' which is unnatural and unclear. This is a sentence structure error (type 26). Use 'depends on' to express that music preference varies according to mood; 'it depends on my mood' is concise and idiomatic.

× My mood is cheerful than I was hearing a high level music, my Moody slow down, then I hearing a sad music.

✓ When I listen to upbeat music, my mood becomes more cheerful; when I listen to slow, sad music, my mood slows down.

Original sentence has multiple errors: incorrect comparative 'cheerful than' (type 25), wrong verb forms 'was hearing' and 'I hearing' (past/present tense and gerund issues, types 5 and 8), incorrect word choice 'high level music' and 'Moody slow down'. The corrected sentence fixes comparisons ('more cheerful'), uses correct verbs ('listen to', 'becomes', 'slows down'), and uses clearer adjectives ('upbeat', 'slow, sad'). Suggestion: separate ideas into clauses, use correct verb forms and comparative construction.

× the high music can change our thinking situation.

✓ Upbeat music can change our state of mind.

'High music' and 'thinking situation' are unidiomatic; this is a verb/noun form and word choice issue (type 10 and 13). 'High' as an adjective for music is incorrect; 'upbeat' or 'energetic' are better. 'State of mind' is the correct noun phrase. Use 'can change' with the noun phrase: 'Upbeat music can change our state of mind.'