Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, conciseness and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms (e.g., "prefer listening to"), and avoid repetition. Add one specific example or brief reason using a linking word (e.g., "because" or "so") and keep it to no more than 3–4 short sentences. Also replace vague phrases like "get rid of them a lot of things" with a specific effect (e.g., "relieve stress").

例: I prefer listening to happy music because it lifts my mood after a stressful day. For example, upbeat pop songs help me feel more energetic and relaxed, so I can unwind and sleep better.

提案: Make the response more fluent and specific. Use a clear topic sentence, then add a concise, relevant example with correct vocabulary (e.g., "tempo" not "temperature"). Avoid fillers like "uh" and finish the thought with a short result or feeling. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, upbeat music definitely makes me feel more excited. For example, when I listen to a fast-tempo pop song I feel energized and start tapping my feet, which motivates me to exercise or dance.

× To be honest, I prefer to listening happy music because it makes my mood better and especially after a stressful day I want to listen this and upbeat my mood and I get rid of them a lot of things.

✓ To be honest, I prefer listening to happy music because it makes my mood better, and especially after a stressful day I want to listen to this music to cheer up and get rid of a lot of stress.

The main error is the incorrect use of the verb + -ing form after 'prefer'. 'Prefer' is followed by the gerund without 'to' (prefer listening) or by the infinitive with 'to' (prefer to listen). Also, the correct form is 'listen to music', not 'listen this'. 'Upbeat my mood' is incorrect; use 'cheer up' or 'cheer my mood'/'cheer me up'. 'Get rid of them a lot of things' is ungrammatical; correct to 'get rid of a lot of stress' or 'get rid of many things'. Suggestions: use 'prefer listening to', 'listen to this music', 'cheer up', and simplify the sentence into clear clauses with appropriate prepositions.

× Yes, upbeat or happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. Uh, for example when I was listening to a pop song with the fast temperature.

✓ Yes, upbeat or happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. For example, when I was listening to a pop song with a fast tempo,

'Fast temperature' is an incorrect collocation; the correct noun for speed in music is 'tempo'. Also, adverb placement and article use: 'with the fast tempo' or 'with a fast tempo' — 'a fast tempo' is better here. Keep 'definitely' before the verb phrase is acceptable. Suggest replacing 'temperature' with 'tempo' and use 'a fast tempo'.