Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, um), correct grammar (e.g. "it depends" not "it's depends"), and give one or two specific reasons. Use a linking phrase to connect reason and result.

例: I prefer happy music. Because I study at university and often feel stressed, upbeat songs help lift my mood and keep me motivated. For example, listening to energetic pop while walking between classes makes me feel more positive.

提案: Answer directly, fix grammar (subject-verb agreement and phrasing), reduce hesitations, and organize details using linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'because'). Give a concise example showing how music affects your exercise energy.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited. For example, I go to the gym every day, and after a long day of studying I feel tired; listening to upbeat tracks before and during my workout boosts my energy and helps me maintain intensity.

× I, uh, generally, I think it's depends on my own personal lifestyle, uh, because I study in a university and most of the time I feel really stressed and uh, depressed.

✓ I generally think it depends on my personal lifestyle because I study at a university and most of the time I feel really stressed and depressed.

Multiple present-tense and preposition issues: 'it's depends' is incorrect because 'depend' should follow 'it' without the contraction 'it's' (it depends) or 'it' + present verb; corrected to 'it depends' by removing the extra 's' conflict. 'my own personal' is redundant; 'personal' alone is sufficient. Use 'at a university' instead of 'in a university' for studying location. Also remove filler words and extra commas to create a natural present-tense statement. Suggestion: use 'I generally think it depends on my personal lifestyle' and use 'study at a university' for location.

× So I really need a happy music to cheer me up.

✓ So I really need happy music to cheer me up.

Article error: 'music' is an uncountable noun and should not take the indefinite article 'a'. Remove 'a' and do not use 'a' before uncountable nouns like 'music'. Suggestion: say 'I need happy music' or 'I need some happy music' if you want to emphasize an unspecified amount.

× Of course, happy music sometimes make me feel more excited.

✓ Of course, happy music sometimes makes me feel more excited.

Subject-verb agreement in present tense: 'happy music' is a singular noun phrase (uncountable) so the verb requires third person singular form 'makes' not 'make'. Suggestion: use 'makes' with singular or uncountable subjects.

× Uh, I, uh, you know, I have a, a habit of going gym, uh, every day.

✓ I have a habit of going to the gym every day.

Article and preposition errors: 'going gym' is missing the preposition 'to' and 'gym' as a countable, specific place usually takes the definite article 'the' in this context. Also remove duplicate 'a' and filler words for clarity. Suggestion: use 'go to the gym' or 'going to the gym'.

× So, you know, after a long day study, I feel really tired.

✓ So, you know, after a long day of studying, I feel really tired.

Tense and noun form error: 'after a long day study' is incorrect; use the gerund noun form 'a long day of studying' or 'after studying all day'. The gerund 'studying' correctly expresses the ongoing action during the day. Suggestion: say 'after a long day of studying'.

× Uh, if I don't listen to happy music, maybe I won't have enough energy to maintain a good state to exercise.

✓ If I don't listen to happy music, I might not have enough energy to be in a good state to exercise.

Modal verb nuance: 'maybe I won't' is grammatically possible but 'might not' is more natural for expressing possibility. Also 'maintain a good state to exercise' is awkward; 'be in a good state to exercise' or 'have enough energy to exercise' is clearer. Use 'might' to convey uncertainty. Suggestion: use 'might not have enough energy' or 'may not have enough energy' and simplify phrase to 'to exercise'.