Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and directly addresses the question, but you can improve by using a more natural phrasing, avoiding absolute words like “always,” and adding a brief linking phrase to connect your contrasting idea. Also try to vary vocabulary (e.g. “cheerful” or “upbeat”) and keep the response within 3–4 concise sentences. For example, start with a topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a short contrasting comment using a linking word like “however.”

例: I generally prefer upbeat (happy) music because it helps me relax and puts me in a good mood. For example, cheerful songs lift my spirits after a stressful day. However, I avoid sad music because it can bring back unpleasant memories.

提案: Your response gives several reasons and a personal example, which is good, but sentence structure and linking need work. Use correct verb forms and concise linking words (e.g. “and,” “so,” “for example”). Avoid repetition (“makes me happier” and “uplift my spirit” are similar). Aim for 3–4 well-structured sentences: a clear topic sentence, two specific reasons linked logically, and a short example. Improve grammatical accuracy (e.g. subject-verb agreement and parallel structure).

例: Yes — upbeat music definitely lifts my mood and energises me. It relaxes me after a busy day and also boosts my energy, so I often find myself dancing. For example, when I hear one of my favourite songs, I start dancing and remember fun nights out with friends.

× I will choose happy music always because it makes me feel relaxed and at peace.

✓ I always choose happy music because it makes me feel relaxed and at peace.

The original uses 'I will choose' which implies a future decision but the context expresses a general preference (present habitual). Use simple present 'I always choose' for habitual actions. Also move 'always' to before the main verb for natural word order.

× However, sad music sometimes brings bad memories which I do not want to go through again.

✓ However, sad music sometimes brings back bad memories that I do not want to go through again.

The sentence is mostly correct but 'bring bad memories' is more naturally 'bring back bad memories'. Also replace 'which' with 'that' for restrictive clause. This fixes idiomatic phrasing rather than strict grammatical number issues; classified under singular/plural because no other category fits better from the provided list.

× Yes, definitely happy music makes me happier.

✓ Yes, definitely happy music makes me feel happier.

The verb 'makes' needs a complement; 'happier' without a link verb or object is acceptable colloquially but clearer as 'makes me feel happier'. This maintains present simple for general truth.

× It makes me relaxed, uplift my spirit and also help me to unwind from a very long day.

✓ It relaxes me, uplifts my spirit and also helps me to unwind after a very long day.

Parallel structure and subject-verb agreement errors: list items must all match in form. Use verbs consistent with subject 'it' in present simple: 'relaxes', 'uplifts', 'helps'. Also 'relaxed' (adjective) replaced by 'relaxes me' and 'from a very long day' better as 'after a very long day.' This fits present simple habitual action.

× For example, when I listen to one of my favorite songs, I tend to dance and just vibe to hits which brings memories of parties with friends.

✓ For example, when I listen to one of my favorite songs, I tend to dance and just vibe to hits that bring back memories of parties with friends.

Use 'that' for restrictive clause and match plural 'hits' with plural verb 'bring'. Also 'bring back memories' is the correct idiom. 'Vibe to hits which brings' had subject-verb disagreement and incorrect relative pronoun choice; corrected to maintain number agreement and natural prepositional/idiomatic usage.