Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak clearly and use correct, simple vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question directly (e.g., “I prefer happy music.”). Then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) and avoid filler words and incorrect word forms. Also keep sentences concise (no more than 3–4 sentences) and correct word choices (music not musics; melody not wife).

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and makes me feel more energetic. For example, upbeat songs with cheerful melodies help me relax after work and motivate me to exercise.

提案: Answer directly with a clear statement, then give specific reasons and use linking words like “because” or “so”. Fix grammar (use present tense) and avoid vague phrases like “I suppose”. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences and include a brief example or result.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because the fast rhythm and upbeat lyrics increase my energy. For example, listening to an upbeat playlist after work helps reduce my stress and improves my mood quickly.

× I would personally Lies happen musics because I enjoy the wife, the umm, the melodies.

✓ I would personally like sad music because I enjoy the vibe and the melodies.

Multiple errors: 'Lies happen musics' is ungrammatical (26: sentence structure) and uses incorrect words; 'musics' as a count noun is incorrect (1: singular and plural issue) — 'music' is uncountable. 'Lies happen' seems intended to be 'like sad' (verb choice and form, 6: present tense/verb form). 'wife' is a wrong word; context requires 'vibe' (11: incorrect use of prepositions/words). Also subject-verb agreement and word order are awkward. Suggestion: use 'I would personally like sad music' (correct verb and modal use), use uncountable 'music', and replace incorrect words with context-appropriate nouns like 'vibe' or 'mood'.

× I'd rather listen to the musics that have positive feelings and that boosts my inner feeling.

✓ I'd rather listen to music that has positive feelings and that boosts my inner mood.

Errors: 'musics' is incorrect; 'music' is uncountable (1: singular and plural issue). 'that have' should agree with the singular 'music' so use 'that has' (27: subject-verb agreement). 'boosts my inner feeling' is awkward; 'boosts my inner mood' is a clearer collocation (13: incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs/word choice). Suggestion: use uncountable 'music', ensure verb agrees with singular subject, and choose natural noun collocations like 'mood'.

× I suppose yes, of course it happened.

✓ I suppose so; of course it does.

Problems: 'it happened' is past tense (5: past tense issue) but the question asks about a general effect, so present tense is appropriate (6: present tense issue). 'I suppose yes' is colloquial and awkward; 'I suppose so' or 'Yes, of course' are more natural. Suggestion: Use present tense 'it does' for general statements and prefer 'I suppose so' or 'Yes, of course' for spoken responses.

× Most not just suppose my emotion, but also umm holds my anxiety release my stress after a long day.

✓ Not only does it affect my emotions, but it also helps release my anxiety and stress after a long day.

Multiple issues: 'Most not just suppose my emotion' is ungrammatical and incorrect word choice (26: sentence structure). Use the correlative conjunction 'not only... but also' with inversion: 'Not only does it affect my emotions' (16: incorrect conjunction use and 27: subject-verb agreement). 'holds my anxiety release my stress' mixes verbs incorrectly; correct phrasing is 'helps release my anxiety and stress' (8/9: verb + -ing/past participle concerns and 13: word choice). Suggestion: Use clear correlative structure, correct verb forms, and parallel elements ('release my anxiety and stress').