Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, finish your sentence, and organise your response with a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Correct grammar (singular/plural, articles) and avoid irrelevant statements. Use linking words to connect ideas and give a brief example or frequency to make it specific.

例: No, I didn’t have a motorbike as a child because it is illegal to ride one under 18 in my country. However, my parents allowed me to ride a bicycle, so I often cycled to visit friends and run small errands. For example, I used to ride my bike to the park every weekend.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words. Improve grammar (article use, verb forms) and reduce redundancy (avoid filler phrases). Add a concrete example or statistic to support your point.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are much cheaper to buy and maintain than cars. Moreover, many people prefer them for short trips and commuting in crowded cities. For instance, in my town a large market area has hundreds of bicycles parked every evening because shoppers find them convenient and affordable.

× Well in my country it is illegal to drive a bike or when you are under 18.

✓ Well, in my country it is illegal to drive a bike when you are under 18.

The original sentence contains an extra conjunction 'or' that makes the clause ungrammatical; this is a sentence structure/There be type error because the intended existence/condition is expressed incorrectly. Remove 'or' and place 'when you are under 18' directly after 'drive a bike' to form a correct conditional statement. Also add a comma after 'Well' for natural spoken punctuation.

× So on the basis of that rules.

✓ So on the basis of those rules.

This is a plural/subject reference error: 'that rules' is incorrect because 'rules' is plural and requires the demonstrative 'those'. Change 'that' to 'those' to agree in number and correct the sentence structure. Alternatively, you could say 'Because of those rules' for smoother flow.

× My parents didn't allow me to ride a bike but I used to ride bicycles and whenever I have to go somewhere with my friends I.

✓ My parents didn't allow me to ride a bike, but I used to ride bicycles, and whenever I had to go somewhere with my friends, I did.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. The context is past habitual actions, so use past tense consistently: 'used to' is correct for habit, 'whenever I had to' must be past, and finish the clause with 'I did' or 'I would' to complete the idea. Also add commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× Well, that's really interesting question.

✓ Well, that's a really interesting question.

The noun phrase lacks an article: 'question' is singular and requires the indefinite article 'a'. This is a sentence structure/article error; adding 'a' corrects the noun phrase.

× And I do think that bikes are quite popular and often in my country as they are very much cheaper than cars and the people who can't afford riding a car, so they usually travel with bike and they prefer bike over other vehicles.

✓ I do think that bikes are quite popular in my country because they are much cheaper than cars. People who can't afford a car usually travel by bike and prefer bikes over other vehicles.

The original sentence has multiple conjunction and preposition problems and awkward phrasing. Break into two sentences and replace 'and often in my country as' with 'in my country because' to show cause. Use 'much cheaper' instead of 'very much cheaper.' Replace 'the people who can't afford riding a car' with 'People who can't afford a car' (remove gerund after afford). Use the preposition 'by' with modes of transport: 'travel by bike'. Make 'bike' plural where referring generically: 'bikes'. These changes fix conjunction misuse, preposition errors, article errors, and number agreement.