Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid redundant phrases and fix verb forms and articles (e.g., "one of my uncles" not "one of my uncle"). Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I got the bike when I was about eight because one of my uncles brought money from abroad during a Christmas visit, and I persuaded my parents to buy it for me. Since then I practiced riding every day and often joined my neighbours, which helped me improve quickly.

提案: Provide a clear opinion followed by specific reasons and use linking words to make the answer coherent. Correct sentence fragments and avoid filler words. Mention concrete examples or statistics if possible, and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. For example, many people use motorbikes to commute to work and markets since fuel and parking for cars are costly. Therefore, bikes are a practical choice for daily travel in crowded cities.

× One of my uncle came from abroad to visit for Christmas holiday

✓ One of my uncles came from abroad to visit for the Christmas holiday

The phrase 'one of my uncle' is incorrect because 'one of' must be followed by a plural noun ('uncles'). Also add the definite article 'the' before 'Christmas holiday' to indicate a specific holiday. Suggestion: use 'one of my uncles' and 'the Christmas holiday'.

× I've been pestering my parents to buy bike for me

✓ I pestered my parents to buy a bike for me

The original uses present perfect continuous ('I've been pestering') which is awkward when describing a single past event that led to getting a bike. Use simple past 'I pestered' to match 'had a bike' context. Also add the article 'a' before 'bike'. If you mean ongoing action up to now, keep present perfect continuous and change to 'a bike' (I've been pestering my parents to buy a bike for me).

× because I've seen my neighbors children always boarding bike

✓ because I saw my neighbors' children always riding bikes

Several issues: use simple past 'I saw' to match context, possessive form 'neighbors'' to show children belong to neighbors, 'boarding bike' is incorrect collocation — use 'riding bikes'. Also pluralize 'bikes' to match 'children', and move 'always' to natural position: 'always riding'.

× Bikes also serve as a means of transportation. In my country. People prefer taking bikes to cars because bikes are more.

✓ Bikes also serve as a means of transportation in my country. People prefer taking bikes to cars because bikes are cheaper.

The sentence 'In my country.' is a sentence fragment; combine it with the previous sentence. The clause 'because bikes are more.' is incomplete — 'more' requires a comparison. Use 'cheaper' to complete the comparison. This fixes sentence structure and clarity.

× Bikes are less expensive while cars are more expensive in my country

✓ Bikes are less expensive while cars are more expensive in my country

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but stylistically repetitive. Better: 'Bikes are less expensive than cars in my country.' Use comparative structure 'less expensive than' to make the comparison clear and concise. Note: no change needed for grammar type list, but a clearer correction is suggested.