Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Keep your answer clear, directly address the question, and use natural, concise sentences. Start with a simple topic sentence (“Yes, I had a bike as a child.”), then add 1–2 specific supporting details (color, who gave it to you, memories). Use linking words (for example, “and,” “because,” “also”) and correct nouns (e.g., “training wheels” not “training views”). Avoid irrelevant phrases and repetitions. Aim for no more than 3–4 sentences total.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was yellow and green, and my friends used to tease me about its bright colors, but I loved it. It had training wheels at first, which helped me learn to ride, and I rode it around the neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: Answer directly and organize your points clearly. Begin with a topic sentence (“Yes, bikes are very popular in my country.”), then give 2 specific, well-linked reasons (affordability, business use such as rentals). Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “affordable,” “common,” “rent to tourists”) and avoid filler phrases. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and include a linking word like “because,” “also,” or “for example.”

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for daily travel. Also, many people use motorcycles for business purposes, and rentals are common in tourist areas for visitors who want a cheap way to get around.

× The blog is speaking about actually they have a bike.

✓ The speaker is actually saying that they had a bike.

The original sentence uses 'the blog' and 'they' unclearly and mixes present tense with a past situation. Replace 'the blog is speaking about' with 'the speaker is saying' for clarity, and use past tense 'had' to match 'when you were a child'. Also ensure pronoun refers clearly to the student or speaker. Suggestion: Identify the subject (speaker) and keep tense consistent (past) when referring to childhood.

× When I was pretty young the bike was of yellow and green color and I know people used to make fun of me especially my friends, but I love their vibe.

✓ When I was quite young, the bike was yellow and green, and I know people used to make fun of me, especially my friends, but I liked their vibe.

Use 'quite' or 'pretty' before 'young' is okay but add a comma after the introductory clause. 'Was of yellow and green color' is awkward; use 'was yellow and green'. Maintain past tense throughout: 'used to make fun' is fine, but 'I love their vibe' should be past 'I liked their vibe' to match the timeframe. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: Use simple adjective order and keep verb tenses consistent for past events.

× It used to have these training views with it which I used to hold because at the starting the appointment learners bike that pretty much loved it.

✓ It had training wheels that I used to hold onto because at the beginning, as a learner, I really loved that bike.

The original sentence is confused and ungrammatical: 'training views' should be 'training wheels'; 'used to hold' needs an object 'onto'; 'at the starting the appointment learners bike' is incoherent. Rephrase to a clear structure: state the bike 'had training wheels', explain 'I used to hold onto them', and keep past tense. Use commas to separate the phrase 'as a learner'. Suggestion: Break complex ideas into shorter clauses and use correct vocabulary (wheels, hold onto, beginning, learner).

× Yes, in my country bikes are actually pretty popular as people in India especially are not that rich and bikes are actually pretty like you can say one of the cheapest mode of transportation.

✓ Yes, in my country bikes are actually quite popular because many people in India are not very rich, and bikes are one of the cheapest modes of transportation.

The sentence has awkward repetition and informal fillers ('actually pretty like you can say'). Use 'because' for reason, 'many people' instead of 'people in India especially are not that rich', and plural 'modes' to match 'one of the'. Maintain present tense but correct agreement and word choice. Remove redundant words. Suggestion: Avoid filler phrases and ensure noun-verb number agreement ('modes of transportation').

× And some of these bikes are actually used in business purposes as some of these are rented out to tourist and tourist places for you know who are visiting the place and don't want to pay taxi fares and all.

✓ Some of these bikes are used for business purposes; they are rented out to tourists at tourist sites for people who are visiting and don't want to pay taxi fares.

Use 'for business purposes' instead of 'in business purposes'. 'Tourist' should be plural 'tourists'; 'tourist places' is better as 'tourist sites'. Remove filler 'you know' and 'and all'. Rephrase to be concise and grammatical, and keep present tense. Ensure plural agreement: 'tourists' and 'sites'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions ('for'), plural nouns when referring to groups, and remove informal fillers for clarity.