Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and fluency: remove filler words, correct tense and article errors, and make the response more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”).

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child my parents bought a bike for me as a birthday present, and I loved it because it gave me freedom to explore my neighborhood.

提案: Correct collocations and grammar, and use clearer linking words. Replace awkward phrases (e.g., “increasing common,” “short commute commuters”) with correct forms, and provide one specific reason or example to support your view. Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: Conventional bicycles aren't very popular in my country. However, electric bikes are becoming increasingly common among students and adults because they are affordable and convenient for short commutes, especially in congested cities.

× Uh, when I was a child my parents bought a a bike for me.

✓ Uh, when I was a child my parents bought a bike for me.

This sentence contains a duplicated article 'a a'. Remove the extra 'a' to use a single indefinite article before the singular noun 'bike'. Suggestion: proofread for repeated words and read the sentence aloud to notice duplication.

× It's were my birthday gift.

✓ It was my birthday gift.

The original has two problems: 'It's' (it is or it has) and 'were' (past plural form of 'be') are incorrect for a past event. The correct past simple form is 'It was'. Use 'It was my birthday gift' to state a past fact. Suggestion: match subject and tense; for past events use 'was' for singular subjects.

× I really loved it because it was the first time I received a bike.

✓ I really loved it because it was the first time I had received a bike.

When referring to a past event that occurred before another past event, use the past perfect ('had received'). Here, 'had received' clarifies that receiving the bike happened before the time of 'really loved it'. Suggestion: use past perfect to show sequence of past events.

× I don't think conventional bicycles are very popular in my country.

✓ I don't think conventional bicycles are very popular in my country.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. The present simple 'don't think' appropriately expresses current opinion about a general truth.

× However, electric bikes are increasing common among both student and adult because they are affordable and convenient for short commute commuters.

✓ However, electric bikes are increasingly common among both students and adults because they are affordable and convenient for short commutes.

Multiple issues here: 'increasing' should be the adverb 'increasingly' to modify 'common' (adverbial form). 'Student and adult' should be plural 'students and adults' to match 'both'. 'Short commute commuters' is redundant and awkward; use 'short commutes' or 'short-distance commuters'. Corrected sentence: 'increasingly common among both students and adults because they are affordable and convenient for short commutes.' Suggestion: ensure correct adverb/adjective forms and pluralize nouns when using 'both'.