Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence, then briefly add one or two concise supporting details. Avoid long run-on sentences and fill gaps with linking words. Be specific about when or how the fall happened and mention any result or feeling to make the answer more complete.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. However, my friends owned bikes and I often tried theirs; once I fell while learning to balance, which made me cautious about riding afterwards.

提案: Start with a direct statement, then use linking words (for example, moreover, for instance) and give specific examples concisely. Avoid hesitations and repetition; use varied vocabulary (commute, leisure) and correct small grammar issues (plural nouns, articles).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in the Philippines. For example, many people use them to commute to work or meet friends, and in places like Burnham Park in Baguio, cycling is a common leisure activity.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but my friends did have a bike so I tried riding their bike that I fell.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but my friends did, so I tried riding their bike and I fell.

The original sentence mixes clauses incorrectly and uses 'that' where a conjunction is needed; tense is past and mostly correct but the connector should be 'and' to join actions that happened. Also 'my friends did have a bike' is wordy; use 'my friends did' or 'my friends had bikes'. Suggestion: simplify and join past actions with appropriate conjunctions (and), and match plurality if needed.

× Yeah, bikes are certainly popular in the Philippines. Umm, I see a lot of people, even my workmates and friends, riding bike, going to and from work, umm, going to dates, umm, We also have a park in the Philippines called Burnham Park in Baguio, where the main activity is riding a bike.

✓ Yeah, bikes are certainly popular in the Philippines. I see a lot of people, even my workmates and friends, riding bikes, going to and from work, and going on dates. We also have a park in the Philippines called Burnham Park in Baguio, where the main activity is riding bikes.

The sentence uses 'riding bike' and 'riding a bike' inconsistently. 'Bike' requires an article or pluralization: use 'riding bikes' for general activity or 'riding a bike' for single instances. Also 'going to dates' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'going on dates'. Remove filler words and ensure parallel structure with commas and conjunctions. Suggestion: use plural 'bikes' for general statements and maintain parallel verb phrases ('riding bikes, going to and from work, and going on dates').