Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid contradictions and fillers, use correct tense and grammar, and give one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Limit to under five sentences. For example, say you didn’t own a bike but spent time around bicycles, explain why briefly (shyness, lack of friends) and mention a specific memory or activity to make it vivid.

例: No, I didn’t own a bike as a child. However, I often borrowed a neighbour’s bicycle and enjoyed riding quietly around my street because I was shy and had few friends. For example, I remember cycling to the small park every afternoon to read or watch other children play.

提案: Answer directly, use accurate vocabulary and grammar, and structure your response with a reason and an example. Use linking words (however, although, because, for example) to connect ideas. Be specific about why bikes are unpopular (poor infrastructure, culture, weather) and give a clear contrasting example about young people using bikes.

例: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country because we lack proper cycling lanes and most people prefer cars for convenience. However, in the evenings I often see many young people riding bicycles along the waterfront, which shows cycling is becoming more fashionable among youth.

× I have a bicycle and uh, in childhood I liked to uh, spend time with my bicycle because in childhood I was, umm, not communicate person and I don't, I didn't have a friend, so.

✓ I had a bicycle, and as a child I liked to spend time with it because I was not a very communicative person and I didn't have friends.

Singular/plural issues and word choice: 'I have a bicycle' is present tense but the question asks about childhood, so use past tense 'I had a bicycle' (see Present/Past tense issues as well). 'In childhood' is unnatural; use 'as a child'. 'Not communicate person' is incorrect; use adjective 'not a very communicative person'. 'I don't, I didn't have a friend' mixes tenses and uses singular 'a friend' which implies only one; better to use plural 'friends' and keep past tense 'didn't have friends'. Combine and simplify the sentence for clarity and correct agreement.

× I have a bicycle and uh, in childhood I liked to uh, spend time with my bicycle because in childhood I was, umm, not communicate person and I don't, I didn't have a friend, so.

✓ I had a bicycle, and as a child I liked to spend time with it because I was not a very communicative person and I didn't have friends.

Tense consistency: The student answers a question about the past but uses present tense 'I have' and mixes 'I don't' with 'I didn't'. Use past tense throughout: 'had', 'liked', 'was', 'didn't have'. Maintaining consistent past tense makes the timeline clear.

× I was, umm, not communicate person

✓ I was not a very communicative person

Wrong form: 'communicate' is a verb; the correct adjective is 'communicative'. Also add 'a' before 'person' and optional modifier 'very' for naturalness. This fixes word class and article usage.

× I have a bicycle and uh, in childhood I liked to uh, spend time with my bicycle

✓ I had a bicycle, and as a child I liked to spend time with it

Pronoun repetition: Repeating 'bicycle' is redundant; replace the second instance with the pronoun 'it'. Also change tense to past 'had' and phrasing to 'as a child' for naturalness.

× I don't, I didn't have a friend, so.

✓ I didn't have any friends.

Fragment and redundancy: The phrase 'I don't, I didn't have a friend, so.' is disfluent and mixes tenses. Remove the present 'I don't', use past tense 'I didn't', and use plural 'friends' or 'any friends' to indicate lack of social connections. End the sentence clearly without 'so' unless followed by a result clause.

× Do you think bikes are popular in your country? I answered before, no, I think aren't very popular in my country because we lack good uh cycling and fixture and people prefer cars.

✓ I already answered no. I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because we lack good cycling infrastructure and people prefer cars.

Preposition and word choice: 'I answered before' is better as 'I already answered'. Missing subject in 'I think aren't' — needs 'I don't think bikes are'. 'Cycling and fixture' is incorrect; the correct term is 'cycling infrastructure'. Also keep tense and negation correct: 'I don't think bikes are very popular'. Replace 'we lack good uh cycling and fixture' with 'we lack good cycling infrastructure' for accuracy.

× ...and people prefer cars.

✓ ...and people prefer cars.

This sentence is correct; no third person singular error. Included to show that 'prefer' correctly matches plural subject 'people'.

× However, I often see young people uh, riding uh bikes in evenings and it looks attractive.

✓ However, I often see young people riding bikes in the evenings, and it looks appealing.

Gerund and article use: 'riding bikes' is correct gerund usage, but add 'in the evenings' for natural English and use 'appealing' instead of 'attractive' when describing a scene. Also remove filler 'uh'. The phrase becomes smoother and more idiomatic.