Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (umm, uh), correct vocabulary (bike, not biker), and use one or two supporting details with proper grammar and a linking word. Keep answers under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was five years old because my parents wanted me to learn independence. For example, I used to ride it to the park every afternoon, which helped me become more confident and active.

提案: Answer directly, then give two clear, specific reasons linked with connectors (for example, moreover). Use correct noun forms and comparative structures (less polluting, private vehicles). Avoid hesitation sounds and keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular. Many people use bicycles to commute to work or school because they are cheap and convenient. Moreover, bicycles are less polluting than private cars, so they are a greener choice in crowded cities.

× I had a biker when I was a child umm, in uh, five years old, umm, my mum and dad uh, bought me a umm, bike that I umm, wish it.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child. When I was five years old, my mum and dad bought me a bike that I really wanted.

Original sentence uses 'biker' (a person who rides a bike) instead of 'bike' (the object) and contains redundant phrasing and tense/word order issues. Corrections: replace 'biker' with 'bike' to fix singular noun choice; split into two sentences for clarity; 'in five years old' is incorrect — use 'when I was five years old'; 'wish it' is unnatural — use 'really wanted'. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct noun choice.

× Umm, yes, uh I do because uh bicycle, uh, people use bicycle to go to work, go to school or travel somewhere in umm club in uh, public amenities.

✓ Yes, I do, because people use bicycles to go to work, go to school, or travel to public places and amenities.

Original sentence omits plural form and articles: 'bicycle' should be plural 'bicycles' when speaking generally; word order 'people use bicycle' is incorrect. 'Travel somewhere in club in public amenities' is unclear — likely intended 'travel to public places and amenities'. Corrections: use plural 'bicycles' for general statements; add commas for clarity; use 'to' with 'travel'.

× Umm bicycle is uh, not as pollution as some private the vehicle.

✓ Bicycles are much less polluting than some private vehicles.

Original uses incorrect comparative construction and wrong word forms: 'not as pollution as' is ungrammatical. Use comparative structure 'less polluting than' or 'not as polluting as'. Also match number: 'Bicycles are' for general statement, and remove unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'vehicle'. Suggested phrasing improves clarity and grammatical comparatives.