Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar, give a clear topic sentence then specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear fragments (e.g., “UMM in”, “and the more”). Use past tense consistently and correct prepositions/articles. Include one or two specific examples (age, activities) and keep to 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I was not interested in cycling. Instead, I preferred playing with dolls and setting up Barbie houses, which I started around age six. For example, I would spend afternoons arranging furniture and pretending to be the dolls' parent, which kept me busy more than outdoor games.

提案: Remove filler phrases like “I can translate.” Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add a linked reason and a specific example. Correct grammar (“They are often used for short commutes and to get to university”). Use linking words such as “because” or “for example” to connect ideas and give one concrete statistic or situation if possible.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among young people and university students. This is because bicycles are cheap and convenient for short commutes; for example, many students cycle 10–20 minutes from campus to nearby neighborhoods. As a result, you can often see crowded bike racks outside lecture halls.

× It's mainly because I was not interested in bikes or cycling.

✓ Mainly, I was not interested in bikes or cycling.

The original sentence uses 'It's mainly because' which creates an unnecessary dummy subject and awkward structure in this context. Rewriting as 'Mainly, I was not interested in bikes or cycling.' produces a clearer, more natural response matching the past-time context. Suggestion: place the adverb 'mainly' at the start or before the verb to avoid the extraneous 'it' construction.

× However, I preferred UMM in.

✓ However, I preferred dolls instead.

The original sentence contains 'UMM in', which appears to be a filler or mistyped phrase and makes the sentence ungrammatical. The intended meaning seems to contrast bikes with dolls; 'I preferred dolls instead.' is a clear, grammatical alternative. Suggestion: avoid filler sounds in written responses and replace them with the intended noun or phrase.

× I prefer playing with dolls and Barbie houses and I spent most of time playing with them and pretend to be a doll's parent and the more.

✓ I preferred playing with dolls and Barbie houses, and I spent most of my time playing with them and pretending to be a doll's parent.

Multiple issues: tense inconsistency ('prefer' present vs earlier past), missing article before 'time', incorrect verb form 'pretend' should be gerund 'pretending', and the phrase 'and the more' is incorrect/unfinished. Corrections: use past tense 'preferred' to match context, add the possessive article 'my' before 'time', change 'pretend' to 'pretending'. Remove the unclear ending. Suggestion: keep tense consistent, use 'my time', and use gerund after 'spent ... playing' when describing activities.

× I can translate.

✓ I can imagine that.

'I can translate.' is out of context and likely a mistaken phrasing. The speaker probably intended to say 'I can imagine that.' or 'I can relate.' Replacing with 'I can imagine that.' fits the examiner's question and the following explanation. Suggestion: choose a phrase that matches the intent; avoid literal words like 'translate' unless appropriate.

× They often use by for short commutes and getting to university because it is cheap and convenient.

✓ They are often used for short commutes and for getting to university because they are cheap and convenient.

Problems: passive/active mismatch and incorrect preposition 'use by'. The correct phrasing for describing general use of bikes is passive or active with 'use' and the preposition 'for' to indicate purpose. Also pronoun agreement: 'bikes' plural requires 'they' and 'are'. Corrections: 'are often used for' and 'they are cheap and convenient.' Suggestion: use 'for' to indicate purpose, keep subject-pronoun agreement (bikes → they), and maintain consistent voice and agreement.