Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and correct grammar, use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Avoid errors like "ported" and unnatural phrasing. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "It had" and "because"). Keep it under 4–5 sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small black bike that came with two training wheels to help me balance. My father gave it to me as a gift for my third birthday, and I remember riding it in the park near our house.

提案: Make a clear main idea first, then support it with specific facts or comparisons and correct phrasing. Avoid unclear statistics like "Out of 10/9 houses" and use linking words such as "for example" or "in particular." Check vocabulary and collocations (e.g., "popular in India," "Royal Enfield Bullet," "considered a status symbol").

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in India, and especially in my state, Punjab. For example, many people prefer motorcycles like the Royal Enfield Bullet because it is seen as a status symbol and is widely used for long rides and social events.

× Yes, I had a bike of black colour.

✓ Yes, I had a black bike.

Using 'of black colour' is unnatural and verbose in English. The correct form is to place the adjective 'black' before the noun: 'a black bike.' Also 'a bike of black colour' may be grammatically possible but is not idiomatic; prefer adjective+noun order.

× It was ported by two small wheels to balance myself.

✓ It had two small wheels to help me balance.

'Ported by' is incorrect here. Use 'had' to indicate possession. 'To balance myself' is awkward; use 'to help me balance.' Also 'balance' is an intransitive verb here, so 'help me balance' is more natural.

× It was gifted by my father on my 3rd birthday.

✓ My father gave it to me on my third birthday.

'It was gifted by my father' is passive and grammatically acceptable but less natural in spoken English. Also use 'gave it to me' (active voice) and write ordinal numbers in words in formal writing: 'third.' 'On my third birthday' is the correct prepositional phrase.

× Out of 10/9 houses have Royal Enfield 350 bullet because it is considered as luxury price.

✓ About nine out of ten houses have a Royal Enfield 350 Bullet because it is considered a luxury item.

The original 'Out of 10/9 houses' is unclear; use 'about nine out of ten houses' for the intended proportion. 'Royal Enfield 350 Bullet' is a proper noun requiring 'a' before it. 'Considered as luxury price' is incorrect—use 'considered a luxury item' to express that it is seen as a luxury; 'price' is the wrong noun here.

× Yes, as per my perspective, bikes are popular in India especially if I talk about my state Punjab.

✓ Yes, in my opinion, bikes are popular in India, especially in my state of Punjab.

'As per my perspective' is awkward; use 'in my opinion.' Maintain present simple 'are popular.' Add preposition 'in' before 'my state of Punjab' or use 'my state of Punjab' with 'in' before it: 'in my state of Punjab.' Also add commas for clarity.