Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce fillers (uh, um) and correct tense/word forms (use past simple).

例: Yes, I did. I had my first bicycle when I was about 12 years old, and I loved riding it around my neighborhood. Because it was lightweight and easy to handle, I spent most afternoons cycling with friends, and those memories are still very vivid.

提案: Answer directly, then give two clear reasons with linking words and specific examples. Use correct collocations (e.g., “convenient,” “affordable,” “easy to maintain”) and finish the sentence fully.

例: Yes, definitely. Bikes are very popular in my country because they are convenient for short trips and much cheaper than cars. For example, many people use bicycles to commute to work or the local market since they are affordable and easy to park.

× Uh, yes, obviously I have a bike when I was at my childhood and I love to ride bike and it was my first bike ever when I was uh, in age UH-12 and I love that, but I can still remember that so much.

✓ Uh, yes, I had a bike when I was a child and I loved to ride it; it was my first bike when I was about 12 years old, and I remember it very well.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly (present tense 'have' and 'love' with past time 'when I was a child'). Use past tense to describe past possession and habits: 'had' and 'loved'. Also correct noun phrase and articles: 'a child' instead of 'at my childhood', 'ride it' (include object pronoun), and 'about 12 years old' for age. Replace informal filler and unclear 'UH-12'. Use clear punctuation to join ideas. Suggestions: consistently use past tense for past events, include object pronouns for actions (ride it), and use natural age expressions ('about 12').

× I love to ride bike and it was my first bike ever when I was uh, in age UH-12 and I love that, but I can still remember that so much.

✓ I loved to ride my bike; it was my first bike when I was about 12 years old, and I remember it very well.

The original uses 'I love to ride' and 'I love that' to describe past feelings; these should be in the past ('loved') to match the past timeframe. Also 'ride bike' needs a possessive or article ('ride my bike' or 'ride a bike'). 'Can still remember that so much' is informal and awkward; 'remember it very well' is clearer. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time reference and include appropriate possessives/articles.

× So the people of my country are.

✓ So the people of my country do.

The original sentence ends with 'are' which is incomplete and mismatches the intended meaning. The speaker likely intended to say that people in the country do (find bikes popular). Use the auxiliary 'do' to complete the idea: 'So the people of my country do.' Alternatively, state the full idea: 'People in my country do find bikes popular.' Suggestion: ensure the verb completes the clause and agrees with the subject; provide a full predicate rather than leaving 'are' hanging.

× I have a bike when I was at my childhood

✓ I had a bike when I was a child

'At my childhood' is incorrect English. Use 'when I was a child' to indicate the time period. Also change 'have' to past 'had' to match the past timeframe. Suggestion: use 'when' + 'I was a child' for childhood references and ensure verb tense matches time.

× I love to ride bike

✓ I loved to ride my bike

The sentence lacks an object pronoun or determiner before 'bike'. Use 'my bike' if referring to a personal bike, and match tense to past ('loved') since context is past. Suggestion: include possessive pronoun for clarity and match verb tense to context.