Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, use correct tense and clearer structure: start with a direct topic sentence (past tense), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers and repetition.

例: Yes — I had a bike as a child, but it was a small toy-like bicycle. Later, when I was in college my father bought me a proper bike that was white, and I used it every day to ride to campus.

提案: Answer directly, give a clear reason and a specific example. Use linking words (because, therefore, for example) and avoid colloquial fillers like 'like' and 'you know'. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in India because they are more affordable and easier to park than cars. For example, my family owns three scooters, and I used to commute to college on one of them.

× Yes, I do have a bike, but it was like you know the kids kids toys.

✓ Yes, I had a bike, but it was, you know, like a child's toy.

The question asks about the past (when you were a child), so present tense 'do have' is incorrect. Use simple past 'had'. Also 'kids kids toys' is ungrammatical; use 'a child's toy' for clarity. Suggestion: match tense to the time reference and use correct noun form.

× But when I was in my college there that my dad bought me a bike and it the color, it was a white color and it was like I don't remember the company name but I enjoyed a lot.

✓ When I was in college, my dad bought me a bike. It was white and I don't remember the brand name, but I enjoyed it a lot.

Original sentence is run-on and contains redundant and misplaced words ('there that', 'it the color'). Split into two sentences, use past simple 'bought' (correct tense already) and 'enjoyed' with object 'it'. Remove redundancy: 'white' alone is sufficient instead of 'white color'. Use 'brand' instead of 'company' for clarity.

× I used to visit college through my bike.

✓ I used to ride my bike to college.

Phrase 'visit college through my bike' is incorrect collocation. Use 'ride my bike to college' and 'used to' correctly indicates past habitual action. Keep past tense consistent.

× Yeah, I think so.

✓ Yes, I think so.

Informal 'Yeah' is acceptable in speech, but 'Yes' is more appropriate in formal responses. Tense is present and matches the question asking opinion now, so keep present simple 'I think'. This is a style suggestion rather than a strict grammatical error.

× Because like I live in India and in India bikes are much popular than cars because car is, you know, more expensive than bikes.

✓ Because I live in India, and in India bikes are much more popular than cars because cars are, you know, more expensive than bikes.

Missing comparative structure: use 'more popular' not 'much popular'. Also 'car is' should be plural 'cars are' to generalize. Ensure parallel plural nouns when making general statements.

× So like in my whole own family, we bought 4, three or four scooties in my home and I used to ride to my college when I was in school or college.

✓ In my whole family, we bought three or four scooters, and I used to ride to college when I was at school or college.

Phrase 'whole own family' is incorrect; use 'whole family'. Use either digits or words consistently: 'three or four' is clearer. 'Scooties' is informal; use 'scooters'. 'I used to ride to my college' should be 'ride to college' or 'ride to my college'; maintain consistency and correct preposition usage. Also keep past habitual 'used to' for past routines.