Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and add one specific detail to make your answer more vivid. Start with a clear topic sentence, then use a linking word to add a specific detail (e.g., what color it was, where you rode it, or a memorable moment). Avoid repeating simple phrases like “I played with it.”

例: Yes — I had a bright red bike when I was a child that I loved. For example, I used to ride it every afternoon to the park near my house, and I remember learning to ride without training wheels there.

提案: Provide a clearer topic sentence and support it with a specific reason and a linking word. Correct small errors and avoid repetition. Give one concrete piece of evidence or an example to justify the percentage claim.

例: Not really — bicycles are not very popular in my country because cities are built for cars and public transport is convenient. For instance, I estimate only about 10% of people cycle regularly, mainly commuters in flat neighborhoods.

× Yes, I had one when I was a child, a beautiful bike and I played with it.

✓ Yes, I had one when I was a child: a beautiful bike, and I played with it.

The original sentence is mostly correct in tense but needs clearer sentence structure and punctuation to join independent clauses. Use a colon or dash to introduce the appositive 'a beautiful bike' and add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. This improves readability and conforms to standard sentence structure. Suggestion: separate ideas with appropriate punctuation so the past-tense narrative remains clear.

× No, bikes are not very popular in my country. People usually use public transportation and their own cars instead of using a bike.

✓ No, bikes are not very popular in my country. People usually use public transportation and their own cars instead of riding a bike.

The phrase 'using a bike' is not wrong grammatically but 'riding a bike' is the more natural collocation in English. This is a sentence structure/collocation improvement to match common usage. Keep the present simple tense for general truths.

× I I can say that 10% of people in my country use.

✓ I can say that about 10% of people in my country use bikes.

This sentence has a repeated word 'I' and an incomplete clause ending with 'use.' The sentence structure is incomplete because the object of 'use' is missing. Fix by removing the duplication and supplying the object 'bikes' and adding 'about' for a natural approximation. Maintain present simple tense for general statements.