Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct the small errors and make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and keep it under five sentences. For example, replace ‘wrote it’ with ‘rode it’ and specify what tricks you learned or where you explored to make the answer more vivid.

例: Yes. I had a bicycle when I was a child; my grandmother bought it for my tenth birthday. I rode it almost every day, exploring nearby neighborhoods and learning how to do simple tricks like wheelies and sharp turns, which made me more confident on the road.

提案: Make the answer more natural and specific, and correct minor phrasing issues. Begin with a clear opinion, then give specific reasons and an example using linking words (for example, because, so, therefore). Avoid vague endings like ‘and so.’ Mention particular groups or statistics if possible and keep it concise.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in Japan because owning and parking a car is expensive, and public transport or cycling is often more convenient. For example, many office workers and students commute by bike for short trips, especially in suburban areas where traffic and parking are difficult.

× Yes, I had one bicycle in my childhood.

✓ Yes, I had a bicycle in my childhood.

Using 'one' before 'bicycle' is grammatical but sounds unnatural; native speakers usually say 'a bicycle' when referring to a single item. Replace 'one' with the indefinite article 'a' for natural English. Suggestion: Use 'a' or 'the' instead of 'one' when indicating a single, unspecified item.

× and I wrote it almost every day, exploring neighborhoods and learning new tricks.

✓ and I rode it almost every day, exploring neighborhoods and learning new tricks.

The verb 'wrote' is incorrect here because the student intended to describe riding a bicycle. Use the past tense of 'ride' ('rode') to match the past timeframe. The present participle phrase 'exploring neighborhoods and learning new tricks' correctly modifies the action. Suggestion: Choose verbs that match the activity; 'rode' fits cycling.

× Yes, I do believe bikes are quite popular in Japan because owning a car is very expensive and therefore bikes are good alternatives for them.

✓ Yes, I do believe bikes are quite popular in Japan because owning a car is very expensive and therefore bikes are good alternatives for people.

The pronoun 'them' is ambiguous and incorrectly refers back to 'bikes'. 'People' clarifies who benefits from bikes as alternatives to cars. Use a noun or clearer pronoun to avoid ambiguity. Suggestion: Replace ambiguous pronouns with the appropriate noun (e.g., 'people', 'residents', 'commuters').

× For example, businessmen ride on a bicycle to commute to their offices and so.

✓ For example, businessmen ride bicycles to commute to their offices, and so on.

The preposition 'on' is unnecessary with 'ride' when using the plural 'bicycles'; use 'ride bicycles' or 'ride a bicycle'. Also 'and so' is informal and incomplete; use 'and so on' to indicate continuation. The sentence is improved by removing 'on' and adding 'on' to the phrase 'and so on.' Suggestion: Use 'ride bicycles' or 'ride a bicycle' and use complete phrases like 'and so on' for clarity.