Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Issues: grammar (tense, articles, subject-verb agreement), coherence and clarity. The answer is long and repetitive, lacks a clear topic sentence and specific details. To improve: start with a direct, grammatically correct topic sentence in the past tense, then give one or two concise supporting details with linking words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g. "parents", "didn't let me", "learn to ride"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. My parents didn't allow me to get one because they thought I was too young and it would be unsafe; as a result, I never learned to ride until I was older.

提案: Issues: grammar and sentence structure, missing linking words, vague phrasing. Improve by giving a clear topic sentence about popularity, then add a specific supporting detail (why bikes are popular or examples), and mention your opinion about types with linking phrase. Use accurate vocabulary and punctuation. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for commuting and short trips. For example, there are many different types available, from small city bikes to large motorcycles like Harley-Davidsons, which are my favorite because of their power and style.

× No, I don't have a bike when I was tired because my family members do not prefer to me to buy a bike because it's very difficult for me to at that time to ride it.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my family members did not want me to buy one; they thought it would be difficult for me to ride at that time.

The original sentence mixes present and past tenses ('don't have' with 'was'), creating a tense inconsistency. The situation refers to the past, so verbs should be in the past tense: 'didn't have' and 'did not want'. 'Prefer to me to buy' is incorrect; use 'did not want me to buy' or 'didn't prefer me to buy' (but the former is more natural). 'A bike' repeated is redundant; use 'one'. Also correct word order 'difficult for me to ride at that time'. Suggestions: keep all verbs in the past when describing past situations, use 'want someone to do something' for expressing desire about another's action, and avoid redundant noun repetition.

× Definitely yes they are the variety of bike in our country, but here I know the one of my favorite bikes that is the Harley.

✓ Definitely yes, there are a variety of bikes in our country, and one of my favorite bikes is the Harley.

The original sentence has subject-verb agreement and sentence-structure issues. 'They are the variety of bike' incorrectly uses 'they' and singular 'variety'; the correct expression is 'there are a variety of bikes' or 'there is a variety of bike models'. Also 'here I know the one of my favorite bikes that is the Harley' is awkward; use 'one of my favorite bikes is the Harley.' Suggestions: use 'there is/there are' for existence, match plural nouns with plural verbs ('bikes' with 'are'), and use the simple pattern 'one of my favorite X is Y' for preference statements.