Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with tense and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, avoid repeating phrases, and add one or two concise supporting details (where/why/how often) using a linking word. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I loved riding it around my neighborhood because it gave me freedom and exercise. For example, I rode to my friend’s house almost every afternoon during the summer.

提案: Be clearer and more accurate with grammar and word choice. Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give specific reasons using linking words (e.g., because, also, for example). Correct common errors (people think, ride not write) and avoid vague phrases like "has like a lot of ability."

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and exercise. Also, they are affordable and convenient in crowded cities. For example, many students and office workers cycle to work to avoid traffic.

× Yes I do.

✓ Yes, I did.

The question uses past tense 'Did you have...', so the response should match past tense. 'Yes I do' is present tense; change 'do' to past 'did' and add a comma after 'Yes' for clarity.

× I really love to riding a bike when I was younger, when I was younger.

✓ I really loved riding a bike when I was younger.

Two issues: the main clause should be past tense ('loved') to match 'when I was younger', and after 'love'/'loved' the verb should be in -ing form without 'to'. Remove the extra repeated phrase 'when I was younger' and change 'love' to 'loved' for tense consistency.

× I think so. Most of the people thinks bike is cool and also it's fun to write and bike has like a lot of ability to bring us to the place, so it is good.

✓ I think so. Most people think bikes are cool, and also it's fun to ride; bikes can take us to many places, so they are useful.

Multiple errors corrected using listed types: 'Most of the people thinks' has subject-verb agreement error ('people' plural with 'think'); remove unnecessary 'of' and use 'think'. 'bike is cool' should use plural 'bikes are' to match 'most people'. 'write' is incorrect word choice; should be 'ride' (verb choice, but treated here as verb form). 'bike has like a lot of ability to bring us to the place' is awkward and ungrammatical: rephrase to 'bikes can take us to many places' using modal/ability structure and correct plural reference. Ensure pronoun agreement: use 'they are useful' to refer to bikes. Punctuation added for clarity.