Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.”), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and redundant phrases. Correct verb tenses (use past tense consistently) and word choice (’walked’ instead of ‘like walk’).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. However, I did not get it until I was eleven, when my mother bought it for me, so before that I usually walked to school.

提案: Give a clear opinion first and then support it with specific reasons and a short comparison. Use correct grammar and linking words (e.g. “however”, “because”, “as a result”) and avoid repetitions and fillers. Fix subject-verb agreement (’motorbikes have become common’) and plural/singular forms. Provide a concrete example or consequence to make the answer more convincing.

例: Bikes used to be very popular in my country, but now fewer people ride them because motorbikes and cars have become more common. As a result, you rarely see people cycling on busy roads, especially in cities.

× Yes, I also I do have my own bike when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, I did have my own bike when I was a kid.

The sentence incorrectly mixes present tense ('do have') with a past time reference ('when I was a kid') and repeats the subject pronoun 'I'. Use the past simple 'did have' to match the time frame and remove the redundant 'I'. Suggestion: say 'Yes, I did have my own bike when I was a kid.'

× Uh, however, uh, it just, it is not until when I was 11 years old, my mom bought me a personal bike uh before that I often like walk to school.

✓ However, it was not until I was 11 years old that my mom bought me a bike; before that I often walked to school.

Multiple tense and structure problems: 'it is not until when I was 11' mixes present 'is' with past time and adds an unnecessary 'when'. Use past 'was not until' and the cleft structure 'it was not until ... that ...'. 'Personal bike' is unusual—'a bike' is sufficient. 'Often like walk' mixes present preference 'like' with base verb; use past simple 'walked' to match past time. Suggestion: simplify to 'However, it was not until I was 11 years old that my mom bought me a bike; before that I often walked to school.'

× In the past, it used to be it used to uh be a common come common vehicles in my country, but since the uh motorbike have concord, the roads uh, it's quite hard to see a person riding bicycle.

✓ In the past, bicycles used to be common vehicles in my country, but since motorbikes became widespread on the roads, it's quite hard to see a person riding a bicycle.

This sentence has several issues: repetition ('used to be it used to'), incorrect noun forms ('come common'), wrong verb form 'have concord' (likely intended 'became common' or 'became widespread'), and missing articles ('riding a bicycle'). Use 'used to' with plural subject 'bicycles' to indicate past habit. Replace 'have concord' with 'became widespread' or 'became common' to express the change. Add the article 'a' before 'bicycle'. Suggestion: 'In the past, bicycles used to be common vehicles in my country, but since motorbikes became widespread on the roads, it's quite hard to see a person riding a bicycle.'