Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct small language mistakes (e.g. say “about eight” not “8:00”), and add one specific detail or short reason to enrich the answer. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences and use a linking word when adding the detail.

例: Yes. My father bought me a small bicycle when I was about eight. I rode it for roughly a year, but it eventually broke down because the chain kept slipping. After that I stopped using it regularly.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" and correct small phrasing errors (e.g. "in those kinds of areas" → "in hilly areas"). Avoid repetition ("very popular" twice).

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my region because the area is very hilly and narrow roads make driving difficult. For example, many people prefer lightweight mountain bikes or electric bikes to reach nearby villages more easily.

× Well, my father had bought me a small bicycle when I was about 8:00, but I didn't last long.

✓ Well, my father bought me a small bicycle when I was about eight years old, but I didn't have it for long.

The original uses past perfect 'had bought' unnecessarily; simple past 'bought' is appropriate because the sequence is clear. '8:00' is incorrect for age; use 'eight years old.' 'I didn't last long' is ungrammatical for possession; use 'I didn't have it for long.' Suggestion: use simple past for completed past events and standard age expression 'eight years old.'

× Since the geography of my place is hills and mountains, cycling is very popular as motorbikes and cars are very difficult to ride in those kind of areas.

✓ Because the geography of my area is hilly and mountainous, cycling is very popular since motorbikes and cars are difficult to use in those kinds of areas.

The original has several issues: 'Since' can mean time or cause—'Because' clarifies reason. 'The geography of my place is hills and mountains' is unidiomatic; use 'my area is hilly and mountainous.' 'Difficult to ride' is fine for bikes but awkward for cars; use 'difficult to use.' 'Those kind of areas' should be 'those kinds of areas' or 'that kind of area'; here 'those kinds' fits. Suggestion: use clear causal connectors, adjective forms (hilly, mountainous), and correct plural agreement in 'kinds.'