Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and tense consistency, make the response more concise, and add one specific detail. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then provide one supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition (e.g., ‘friend’ and ‘camaraderie’ used twice).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. For example, I used to ride it to the nearby park with my best friend every Saturday, which helped us make lasting memories and become closer.

提案: Use correct grammar (articles, verb forms, and pluralization), clarify meaning, and give a specific reason or example. Start with a clear opinion sentence, then add one or two supporting details linked with a word like ‘because’ or ‘for example’.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in Malaysia. For example, many people go cycling on weekends in public parks and along coastal paths because it is an affordable and healthy way to spend time with family and friends.

× Yes, I do have a bike when I was a child, so I like to play with my bike around with my friend so we can create memories together and form better camaraderie between me and my friend.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, so I liked to play with my bike with my friend; we could create memories together and build camaraderie.

The student mixes present and past tenses: 'do have' (present) with 'when I was a child' (past). Use past tense 'had' and 'liked' for past habits. Also 'around with my friend' is awkward; use 'with my friend'. Use 'could' to show ability in the past and 'build camaraderie' is a clearer collocation. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for childhood activities and simplify phrasing (had, liked, played with, built).

× So bicycle is really popular in my country Malaysia because when it become too weekend everyone getting out of their zone and play bicycle among with among them.

✓ Bicycles are really popular in my country, Malaysia, because on weekends many people go outside and ride bicycles together.

The original has several errors: 'So bicycle is' uses singular where plural 'Bicycles are' is needed to talk generally; 'become too weekend' is ungrammatical—use 'on weekends'; 'everyone getting out of their zone' should be 'many people go outside' or 'everyone gets outside' (subject-verb agreement and word choice); 'play bicycle among with among them' is incorrect preposition and verb usage—use 'ride bicycles together'. Suggestions: use plural for general statements, correct time expression 'on weekends', ensure subject-verb agreement, and choose correct verb+preposition collocation ('ride bicycles together').