Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện các điểm sau: (1) Ngữ pháp cơ bản: sửa thì và cấu trúc câu (ví dụ: 'I had a bike' thay vì 'I have to buy'); (2) Tránh lặp từ và sửa phát âm/pauses: loại bỏ các lặp như 'when I when I' và 'I I'; (3) Cấu trúc rõ ràng: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn, sau đó nêu chi tiết cụ thể như màu, ai tặng, khi nào bạn nhận được; (4) Giới hạn độ dài: không quá 3-4 câu, tránh rời rạc. Cụ thể, bạn nên dùng thì quá khứ đơn để mô tả đồ vật trong quá khứ, nối các chi tiết bằng liên từ đơn giản như 'and' hoặc 'which'.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was green and black, and my parents bought it for me as a birthday present. I rode it to visit my friends almost every afternoon, which made my childhood very active.

提案: Cải thiện các điểm sau: (1) Rõ ràng và mạch lạc: trả lời trực tiếp ('No' hoặc 'Not very popular') rồi giải thích nguyên nhân; (2) Từ vựng chính xác: dùng 'bicycles' hoặc 'bikes' và 'metropolitan cities' thay vì 'mega in the metropolis'; (3) Liên kết ý: sử dụng liên từ như 'because', 'however' để nối lí do; (4) Cú pháp: tránh lặp từ và hoàn thành câu (ví dụ nêu phương tiện phổ biến ở thay thế).

例: Not really – bikes are not very popular in major cities in my country because most people prefer motorbikes or cars for commuting. However, bicycles are more common in smaller towns and rural areas where traffic is lighter.

× Yes, of course, when I when I were a child, I I have to buy. The one is green and the one is black. That's in the the gifts that my.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a child, I had to buy one. One was green and the other was black. They were gifts from my parents.

The original contains multiple sentence structure problems: repetition, incorrect verb tense 'were' used with 'I' and incorrect present-tense 'have to buy' instead of past 'had to', missing subjects, and unclear referents. Suggestions: remove repeated words, use past tense for past events (was, had), use clear subjects and pronouns ('one' and 'the other'), and provide the giver as 'my parents' or 'my family' if intended.

× Uh, in my perspective, in the morning life, uh, especially in the mega in the metropolis, city buys is not popular in my country, instead of instead of the popular vehicle is.

✓ In my view, during morning hours, especially in large cities, bicycles are not very popular in my country; more popular vehicles are motorbikes and cars.

The original has incorrect and awkward prepositions and word choices: 'in my perspective' should be 'in my view' (or 'from my perspective'), 'in the morning life' should be 'during morning hours', and 'in the mega in the metropolis' should be 'in large cities' or 'in metropolises'. Also 'city buys' is incorrect; intended word is 'bikes' or 'bicycles'. Suggestions: use standard prepositional phrases ('during morning hours', 'in large cities'), choose correct nouns ('bicycles'), and structure contrast with 'more popular vehicles are ...'.