Number— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use correct tense and avoid repetition. Also finish your sentence and avoid trailing off.

例: I am not naturally good at remembering numbers, but I have improved over time through practice. For example, during nursing training and at work I regularly calculate dosages and record patient data, which has helped me become more confident with numbers.

提案: Give a direct answer and then one clear reason with a specific example. Remove fillers like "umm" and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words (because, therefore, for example) to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I will use numbers in my future work because nursing requires regular calculations for medication dosages and patient measurements. For example, each shift I calculate fluid intake and drug doses to ensure patient safety.

提案: Answer directly whether you enjoyed it, then explain briefly with concrete details. Correct grammar (use past tense consistently) and replace vague phrases with specific examples of encouragement or learning methods.

例: Not really; I did not enjoy math much as a child because I found it difficult. However, my parents and teacher encouraged me to practice regularly and helped me review mistakes, which gradually improved my skills.

提案: Be concise and use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles). State the number clearly and give one or two reasons why it's important, using linking words for clarity.

例: The most important number to me is my birth date. I celebrate it every year because it marks my birthday, and it reminds me to be grateful for another year of life and time with family.

× I'm not good at math since I was in my primary and secondary school, but through time I keep learning it through keep practice.

✓ I have not been good at math since I was in primary and secondary school, but over time I have kept learning it through practice.

The original mixes past time marker 'since' with present simple 'I'm not good' and incorrect continuous forms 'keep learning' and 'keep practice'. Use present perfect 'have not been' to show a state continuing from the past to now after 'since'. Use 'over time' instead of 'through time' and 'have kept learning' and 'through practice' for natural phrasing.

× Most importantly when I took the nursing profession.

✓ Most importantly, when I trained for the nursing profession,

The fragment lacks a main verb and is unclear. Adding 'trained for' or 'studied' creates a complete clause that fits the context. Also add a comma after 'Most importantly'.

× So I need to do some dosage and calculation at my school.

✓ So I needed to do dosage calculations at my school.

Context refers to past training in school; use past tense 'needed'. Also 'dosage and calculation' is awkward; 'dosage calculations' is the correct noun phrase.

× Most importantly when I started to work as a nurse in the hospital.

✓ Most importantly, when I started to work as a nurse in the hospital,

This is a sentence fragment lacking completion. It should be connected to the main clause (for example: '...I also had to use math.') Here punctuation and a following clause are needed; as corrected it marks the dependent clause so it can be completed.

× So we need to do some math as well.

✓ So we needed to do some math as well.

Because the speaker refers to past work when they started as a nurse, the past tense 'needed' agrees with the time frame. If referring to present job, keep 'need' — choose tense to match context.

× So through that I.

✓ So through that I improved my skills.

Original is an incomplete sentence. Add a verb and object to complete the thought; 'improved my skills' fits the implied meaning.

× Yes, umm calculation as well as the suggest is part of my professional career and I need I need to use this in my everyday workplace.

✓ Yes, calculations as well as medication suggestions are part of my professional career and I need to use them in my everyday workplace.

'Calculation' should be plural 'calculations' to talk generally. 'the suggest' is incorrect; likely 'suggestions' or 'dosage suggestions' is better. Replace repeated 'I need' with single occurrence and use plural pronoun 'them' to refer back to plural nouns.

× And mathematics is also part of our daily life so we need to practice and learn through it.

✓ Mathematics is also part of our daily lives, so we need to practice and learn it.

Use plural 'lives' for 'our'. 'Learn through it' is awkward; 'learn it' or 'learn from it' is clearer. Add comma before 'so'.

× I remember that I had hardly study math when I was in my primary school, but my teacher and my parents also keep encouraging me to keep practice and learn from my mistake even though I'm not really good student.

✓ I remember that I hardly studied math when I was in primary school, but my teacher and my parents kept encouraging me to keep practicing and to learn from my mistakes even though I was not a very good student.

Use simple past 'studied' after 'I remember' and 'hardly studied' is the correct word order. 'Keep encouraging' should be past 'kept encouraging'. 'Keep practice' should be 'keep practicing' (gerund). 'Learn from my mistake' should be plural 'mistakes'. 'I'm not really good student' needs article and past tense 'was not a very good student' to match the time frame.

× Most specifically in the math subject, but I learned it through time.

✓ Specifically in math, but I learned it over time.

'Most specifically in the math subject' is awkward; 'Specifically in math' is concise. Use 'over time' instead of 'through time'. Remove comma splice by connecting or splitting sentences appropriately.

× The numbers that are very vital to me is my the date of my birthday, because that is the day I was born in this world and also that is a special day that I almost celebrate, celebrated it every year and I'm thankful and as well as happy about it.

✓ The number that is most important to me is the date of my birthday, because that is the day I was born, and it is a special day that I celebrate almost every year; I am thankful and happy about it.

Use singular 'number' because referring to one important number (the birthday date), and singular verb 'is' agrees. Remove extra 'my' before 'the date'. 'Born in this world' is redundant; 'born' suffices. 'Almost celebrate, celebrated it every year' is confused — use 'celebrate almost every year'. Use semicolon or conjunction to join related thoughts and correct pronoun and article usage.