Teacher— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words and correct grammar (e.g., 'helped me with harmony' instead of 'especially Harmony'). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid incomplete fragments.

例: Yes — my favourite teacher was Miss Kim when I was 18. She was strict but excellent at teaching harmony, which helped me understand complex musical concepts. Because of her clear explanations and regular feedback, my piano playing and musical theory improved significantly.

提案: Give a concise, direct answer and a brief reason using correct tenses and linking words. Avoid repeating phrases. Mention any attempts to reconnect if relevant or explain clearly why you haven't.

例: Not really. I’m 26 now and I never exchanged contact details with my primary school teachers, so I haven’t been able to get in touch. I did try to find my old school online, but I haven’t located anyone yet.

提案: Start with a clear statement of how she helped, then give a specific example with linking words. Correct grammar and sentence structure (e.g., 'gave me praise' not 'gave up praise'). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and be specific about the effect on you.

例: She helped me build confidence by giving constructive praise and encouragement. For example, after I won a trophy at a piano contest, she praised my technique and helped me prepare even harder for the next competition.

提案: Answer directly and provide clear reasons and a short example of relevant experience. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' correctly, and finish sentences fully. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future because I enjoy teaching piano and it energises me. For example, I previously worked at a piano academy where helping students progress gave me a lot of satisfaction.

× When I was 18, I had the favorite teacher named Miss Kim.

✓ When I was 18, I had a favorite teacher named Miss Kim.

Use of the definite article 'the' is incorrect because 'favorite teacher' is being introduced for the first time and is not previously specified; use the indefinite article 'a'. Also 'had the favorite teacher named Miss Kim' is unnatural: 'had a favorite teacher named Miss Kim' is concise and correct.

× She was really strict, but she was good at teaching, especially Harmony.

✓ She was really strict, but she was good at teaching, especially harmony.

The word 'harmony' is a common noun here and should not be capitalized. Capitalizing common nouns is incorrect. Also 'especially harmony' is acceptable if referring to the subject she taught; ensure lowercase and, if necessary, add an article or rephrase: 'especially the harmony part'.

× So I feel really.

✓ So I felt really grateful.

The original fragment 'So I feel really.' is incomplete and lacks an object or complement; it's a sentence structure error. Based on past context ('When I was 18'), past tense 'felt' matches better, and adding an adjective like 'grateful' or 'inspired' completes the thought. Choose the adjective that matches intended meaning.

× Not really because I'm 26 years old so I didn't meet my primary school teacher because when I was young I didn't have a cell phone so I don't know their number so.

✓ Not really. I'm 26 years old, and I didn't stay in touch with my primary school teachers because when I was young I didn't have a cell phone, so I don't know their numbers.

Multiple tense and phrasing problems: 'I'm 26 years old' is present, so use past 'didn't stay in touch' to describe past lack of contact. 'Didn't meet my primary school teacher' is wrong as it implies never meeting them; context wants 'didn't stay in touch' or 'couldn't contact them'. Pronoun-number agreement: 'their number' should be 'their numbers' if referring to multiple teachers. Also remove redundant 'so's and split into clearer sentences.

× I didn't meet my primary school teacher because when I was young I didn't have a cell phone so I don't know their number so.

✓ I didn't stay in touch with my primary school teachers because when I was young I didn't have a cell phone, so I don't know their numbers.

Original uses 'their' to refer to a singular 'primary school teacher', causing number mismatch. Also 'meet' is wrong in context; 'stay in touch' is correct. Use plural 'teachers' with 'their numbers' or singular consistently (e.g., 'my primary school teacher...her number').

× My favorite teacher, Miss Kim, helped me. Develop my confidence because she always gave up praise a lot for example, I won a trophy at piano contest she.

✓ My favorite teacher, Miss Kim, helped me develop my confidence because she often praised me a lot. For example, I won a trophy at a piano contest.

Original has sentence fragments and incorrect clause order. 'Helped me. Develop my confidence' should be combined: 'helped me develop my confidence'. 'Gave up praise a lot' is ungrammatical; use 'praised me a lot' or 'often praised me'. The final clause 'I won a trophy at piano contest she' is scrambled and missing articles; correct to 'I won a trophy at a piano contest.' Split into two sentences for clarity.

× she always gave up praise a lot

✓ she often praised me

Phrase 'gave up praise' is incorrect. The intended meaning is that she praised the student repeatedly. Use the simple past verb 'praised' for completed past action. 'Often' expresses frequency; avoid 'gave up' which changes meaning.

× For example, I won a trophy at piano contest she.

✓ For example, I won a trophy at a piano contest.

The original has misplaced pronoun 'she' and lacks the article 'a' before 'piano contest', creating an ungrammatical sentence. Remove the stray 'she' and add the article for correct noun phrase.

× Absolutely yes, because I really like teaching, especially piano, and I used to work in piano Academy as a teacher. It makes me feel more excited and energetic, so I.

✓ Absolutely. Yes, because I really like teaching, especially piano, and I used to work in a piano academy as a teacher. It makes me feel excited and energetic, so I would like to be a teacher in the future.

The student’s answer is incomplete ('so I.') and mixes present effects with future intention. The question asks about future desire; complete the sentence with a future intention ('I would like to be a teacher in the future'). Also article use: 'a piano academy' is correct; 'used to work' is past habit and is fine. Remove redundant 'more' before 'excited' and ensure coherent ending.