Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, avoid filler words and repetition, and provide clearer specific details (what happened in the ad, why it impressed you, and how it made you feel). Keep answer to 3–4 sentences and use linking words like 'however' or 'because' to connect ideas.

例: I can't recall many childhood ads, but one that stuck with me was a Cadbury Diwali commercial. It showed a girl sharing chocolates with neighbors during the festival, which felt warm and festive. Because it captured family traditions and happiness so well, I always remembered the brand positively.

提案: Answer directly then add one or two specific reasons with linking words. Remove hesitation sounds and avoid repeating the same idea. Mention a concrete example of a transport ad you’ve noticed.

例: Yes, I often see many ads on trains and auto-rickshaws, especially local service posters. For example, I frequently notice mobile service ads on the metro — they reach commuters who may not use internet all the time, so public transport is an effective way to advertise.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence stating your general view, then explain with one or two specific conditions when you like ads, using linking words like 'however' or 'unless'. Avoid fillers and be grammatically precise (e.g., 'they convey').

例: Generally, I don't enjoy most advertisements. However, I do like ads that tell a meaningful story or teach something useful, because I find them interesting and watch them attentively.

提案: State your preference clearly and give specific reasons and an example. Remove fillers and repetitive phrases. Explain what about the food ads appeals to you (colors, music, storytelling) and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer food advertisements, especially for chocolates, because they use appealing visuals and happy music that make the product look tempting. For instance, a chocolate ad that shows friends sharing sweets at a party made me want to try that brand.

提案: Provide a direct answer then support it with specific platforms and a brief reason why those ads appear often (e.g., targeted ads, social media use). Remove hesitations and duplicate phrases.

例: Yes, I often see ads on my phone and computer, especially on Instagram and Snapchat. These platforms show many targeted ads because advertisers know teenagers use them a lot, so I encounter product promotions frequently while scrolling.

× I think there is no such advertisement, uh, because I, I didn't remember any advertisement that I watched when I was a child.

✓ I don't think there was any such advertisement, because I didn't remember any I watched when I was a child.

The original sentence mixes present 'there is no' with past context 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'there was' or better 'I don't think there was any such advertisement' to match the time frame. Also keep verb tense consistent: 'didn't remember' is past, so the clause describing the advertisement should be past as well.

× Umm, but yes, UH-1 advertisement that I remember is from Cadbury chocolate.

✓ Umm, but yes, the advertisement I remember is for Cadbury chocolate.

Use the definite article 'the' before 'advertisement' to refer to a specific ad being remembered. Use the preposition 'for' with a brand ('advertisement for Cadbury chocolate') rather than 'from'. Also remove filler tokens and reorder for clarity.

× It is a advertisement, uh, on the festival of Diwali, uh, and the girl.

✓ It is an advertisement about the festival of Diwali that features a girl.

Use 'an' before a vowel sound ('advertisement'). Use 'about' to indicate the subject of the ad rather than 'on'. Complete the sentence by specifying what the girl does or that she is featured; otherwise rephrase to 'that features a girl'.

× Yes, I see a lot of advertising on trains, especially autos.

✓ Yes, I see a lot of advertising on trains and on autos.

Parallel prepositions improve clarity: use 'on trains and on autos' or 'on trains, especially on autos'. The original 'especially autos' sounds informal and omits the preposition.

× I think it is a good way to convey message to the, uh, people who don't have phones or TV.

✓ I think it is a good way to convey a message to people who don't have phones or a TV.

Use the indefinite article 'a' before 'message' and 'a TV' to indicate a single television. Remove the unnecessary comma before 'people' and avoid 'the' which incorrectly specifies the group.

× Uh, I think it's a good way to advertise the brand.

✓ Uh, I think it's a good way to advertise a brand.

Use 'a brand' when speaking generally; 'the brand' implies a specific brand already mentioned. Choose the article to match intended generality.

× I don't like advertisement, but yes, if it convey any message and it's uh, and I find it interesting, then I really like them.

✓ I don't like advertisements, but if they convey a message and I find them interesting, then I really like them.

Use plural 'advertisements' for general statements. Match pronouns and verbs: 'they convey' agrees with plural 'advertisements'. Replace 'it' with 'they' and ensure verb 'convey' is present-tense plural.

× Uh, and I watch them completely, uh, with full of my curiosity.

✓ I watch them completely, full of curiosity.

'Full of my curiosity' is awkward; use 'full of curiosity'. 'Watch them completely' is fine; remove extra preposition 'with' and the possessive 'my' which is unnecessary.

× Umm, I don't know much about advertising, Umm, but yes, I really, uh, do like the advertisements related to food, especially chocolates, because I really find them interesting and I'm uh, very fond of and I'm a very fond of chocolate.

✓ Umm, I don't know much about advertising, but I do like advertisements related to food, especially chocolates, because I find them interesting and I'm very fond of chocolate.

Remove duplicated phrases and filler. Use 'fond of chocolate' without 'a' or repeated 'very fond'. Ensure pronouns and adjectives are used correctly and avoid repeating the same idea.

× So I really love them and I also try.

✓ So I really love them and I often try new ones.

The original 'I also try' is unfinished and vague. Specify what you try (e.g., new products or chocolates) and use an adverb 'often' if intended. This completes the sentence and clarifies meaning.

× Yes uh, most of the time I see advertisements when I'm using my phone uh, nowadays people are advertising their brand and commercial products, umm on Instagram and Snapchat also, which I think which are the most used app by teenagers.

✓ Yes, most of the time I see advertisements when I'm using my phone. Nowadays people advertise their brands and commercial products on Instagram and Snapchat, which I think are the apps most used by teenagers.

Maintain consistent present tense: use 'advertise' instead of 'are advertising' for general statements. Use plural 'brands' and 'apps' and correct word order to 'apps most used by teenagers'. Remove redundant 'which I think which' and split into clearer sentences.

× So I watch a lot of advertisement on my phone as well as computer.

✓ So I watch a lot of advertisements on my phone as well as on my computer.

Use plural 'advertisements' for a general statement. Include the preposition 'on' before 'my computer' for parallel structure and clarity.