Stories— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a slightly fuller answer with a clear topic sentence and one brief supporting detail. Avoid repeating words and pausing fillers. For example, state why you loved stories and mention a specific type or memory to make it more vivid.

例: Yes — I loved stories when I was a child because they sparked my imagination. For instance, I would ask my parents to read fairy tales every night, and I still remember dreaming about the characters.

提案: Be more concise and remove fillers (umm, uh). Start with a clear topic sentence (I prefer reading) and add one specific reason with a linking word (because/so). Use varied but simple vocabulary rather than repeating words.

例: I prefer reading rather than listening because it lets me imagine scenes in detail. As a result, I can picture characters and settings in my mind, which makes the story more immersive.

提案: Answer directly and clearly, then give a concise reason. Avoid grammatical errors (e.g., tense and word order) and remove hesitations. Use linking words (because/so) and precise vocabulary (interested in technology).

例: No, I didn't write stories as a child because I was more interested in numbers and technology. For example, I preferred playing with calculators and learning about computers rather than writing novels.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence naming the genre (science fiction). Then give one or two specific reasons with a linking word and a concrete example. Correct grammar (science fiction — singular/plural, it makes).

例: I like science fiction because it makes me excited and helps me imagine future technologies. For example, books about space exploration show possible inventions and inspire me to think about how technology could change our lives.

× Yes, of course I loved stories when I was a child.

✓ Yes, of course I loved stories when I was a child.

This sentence is already correct: the question asks about childhood (past), so past tense 'loved' is appropriate. No change needed.

× I think I prefer reading instead of listening because, umm, reading by by by reading I can imagine and, uh, I can enter the book.

✓ I think I prefer reading to listening because when I read I can imagine and immerse myself in the book.

Use 'prefer X to Y' rather than 'prefer X instead of Y' for comparisons (preposition choice). 'Reading by reading' is redundant; simplify to 'when I read'. 'Enter the book' is idiomatic error—use 'immerse myself in the book'. Ensure present simple for general preferences ('I prefer', 'I can imagine').

× No, unfortunately I was when I was child, I, I was familiar with the numbers and, uh, I loved, uh, technologies instead of, uh, the writing novels or somethings.

✓ No, unfortunately when I was a child I was more familiar with numbers and I loved technology rather than writing novels or anything like that.

Several issues: remove misplaced 'I was' and add 'a' in 'a child'. Use 'more familiar with numbers' for clarity. 'Technologies' is uncountable here—use 'technology'. Use 'rather than' for contrast instead of 'instead of the'. 'Writing novels' should not have 'the'. 'Somethings' is incorrect; use 'anything like that'. Tense stays past for childhood.

× I love science fictions because it make me happy and I can understand the future of the world and technologies.

✓ I love science fiction because it makes me happy and I can understand the future of the world and technology.

Use uncountable singular 'science fiction' not 'science fictions'. Subject-verb agreement: 'it makes' (singular subject). 'Technologies' is plural but here 'technology' as a general concept is better. Maintain present simple for general likes and abilities.