Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more natural: start with a concise topic sentence (I work as a cashier at my college cafeteria), then add one or two specific details using linking words (For example, I sell coffee and snacks). Avoid awkward phrases like 'college home' and repetition. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: I work as a cashier at my college cafeteria. I take payments for items such as coffee, green tea and desserts, and I also help with simple customer orders.

제안: Clarify vocabulary and structure: answer directly (At the college cafeteria), correct mistakes (not 'question'), and give specific, accurate details. Use linking words to make it coherent: 'There we sell...' Avoid contradictory phrases like 'only the on frozen products'.

예시: I work at the college cafeteria on campus. There we sell hot and cold drinks, snacks like samosas, and some frozen items such as ice cream.

제안: Make a clear topic sentence and give specific reasons with linking words. Replace unclear phrases ('for the comments') and simplify: explain convenience, familiarity, and financial benefits. Keep it natural and concise.

예시: Yes, it's a good place to work because it's on the same campus where I study, so it's convenient. Also, the schedule allows me to balance work and classes, and I can save money from my earnings.

제안: Answer directly and improve grammar: use past tense correctly and avoid fillers ('uh'). Give a specific benefit and an example of what you learned. Use linking words to show contrast (Although... , because...).

예시: Yes, I like working there. Although it can be busy at times, I have learned a lot about different drinks and frozen products, for example I can now identify and recommend various coffees and soft drinks.

제안: Start with a clear statement of your plan (I plan to open a restaurant). Then explain steps and reasons with linking words (I hope to learn from my current job because...), and correct grammar and word choice ('industrial and business' is unclear). Be specific about what kind of restaurant and how current experience helps.

예시: I plan to open my own restaurant in the future. I want to learn as much as possible from the cafeteria—such as managing sales and customer service—because I believe there will always be demand for good drinks and snacks.

× I am working in a college home as a cashier.

✓ I am working at a college cafeteria as a cashier.

The preposition 'in' with 'college home' is incorrect and 'college home' is not natural. Use 'at' for workplaces or specific locations ('at a college cafeteria'), and use the noun 'cafeteria' instead of 'home'. Suggestion: use 'at a college cafeteria' to show place of work.

× I collect the cash from the person who purchased the things for me.

✓ I collect the cash from the people who purchase items from me.

The singular 'the person' and 'purchased' do not match the habitual present meaning. Use plural 'people' for customers and present simple 'purchase' for habitual actions. Also 'things' is vague; 'items' is more appropriate. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions and plural for general customers.

× For example, they purchased the coffee, green tea, desserts, and so on.

✓ For example, they buy coffee, green tea, desserts, and so on.

The past tense 'purchased' conflicts with the habitual context; use present simple 'buy'. Also omit the definite article 'the' before general drink names. Suggestion: use present simple when describing regular actions.

× I work as a question in a college cafeteria in which only the on frozen products are available and drinks.

✓ I work in a college cafeteria where mainly frozen products and drinks are available.

The original sentence contains nonsense ('as a question'), extra words ('the on'), and incorrect clause structure. Replace 'as a question' with nothing, use 'where' for relative clause, and reorder to 'mainly frozen products and drinks are available'. Suggestion: keep subject and verb clear and remove incorrect words.

× Drinks are also, for example samosas.

✓ We also serve drinks and items such as samosas.

The original mixes categories (drinks and samosas) incorrectly and misplaces 'for example'. Use 'items such as' to introduce examples of food, and 'serve' to describe cafeteria offerings. Suggestion: separate drink category from food examples and use 'such as' for examples.

× Yes, it is a good place to work because I go in the same college, I studied in the same college, I work at that place and it's easy for me to handle both the things at the time and save my money for the comments.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to work because I go to the same college, I studied at the same college, I work there, and it's easy for me to manage both things at the same time and save money for my commitments.

Prepositions were incorrect ('go in' -> 'go to', 'studied in' -> 'studied at'), pronoun/reference awkward ('that place' -> 'there'), awkward phrase 'both the things at the time' -> 'manage both things at the same time', and 'comments' seems wrong contextually -> 'commitments'. Use consistent verb forms and correct prepositions. Suggestion: use 'go to', 'study at', 'work there', and clear nouns like 'commitments'.

× Yes, I would like the place where I work.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work.

Using 'would like' implies desire rather than stating a current opinion. The question asks whether the student likes the place, so use the simple present 'like'. Suggestion: use present simple to state preferences: 'I like'.

× It is quite uh busy sometimes, but I have get knowledge regarding the frozen products and drinks.

✓ It is quite busy sometimes, but I have gained knowledge about frozen products and drinks.

The phrase 'have get' is incorrect: after 'have' use past participle 'gained'. Also use 'about' or 'on' instead of 'regarding'. Suggestion: use present perfect with past participle: 'I have gained knowledge about...'.

× Before this I will not know the names of all drinks.

✓ Before this, I did not know the names of all the drinks.

Mixing future 'will' with past context is incorrect. Use simple past 'did not know' to refer to a previous state. Also include 'the' before 'drinks' when referring to a specific set. Suggestion: use past tense for prior states: 'I did not know'.

× My future work plans to set up a one restaurant business, industrial and business.

✓ My future plan is to set up a restaurant business.

The original repeats 'business' and uses awkward wording 'set up a one restaurant business, industrial and business.' Simplify to 'My future plan is to set up a restaurant business.' If intending multiple types, specify clearly (for example, 'a restaurant and other businesses'). Suggestion: use 'My future plan is to...' and avoid redundant words.

× I want to take some knowledge from the cafeteria and future that business is successful because everybody wants drinks.

✓ I want to gain experience in the cafeteria so that in the future the business will be successful because everyone wants drinks.

'Take some knowledge' is unnatural; use 'gain experience' or 'learn'. The clause 'future that business is successful' is ungrammatical; use 'so that in the future the business will be successful'. Use 'everyone' not 'everybody wants drinks' for clarity and 'will be' for future result. Suggestion: use 'gain experience', 'so that in the future', and future tense 'will be successful'.