Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cevap doğrudan ve net, ancak daha doğal akış ve daha fazla özgün detay ekleyerek geliştirilebilir. Bağlaçlar (ör. because, so, and) daha bilinçli kullanılmalı; tekrar ve genel ifadeler azaltılmalı. Ayrıca tek bir konu cümlesi ile başlayıp ardından 1–2 destekleyici cümlede spesifik örnekler verin. Cümle sayısını 3–4 ile sınırlayın ve gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın.

예시: I work as a legal counsel at a private firm, where I primarily advise creative teams on intellectual property issues. For example, I often draft and review licensing agreements to protect designers’ work, which I find really rewarding.

제안: Cevap yer hakkında bilgi verdi fakat son cümle tamamlanmamış ve tekrar vardı. Daha doğal olmak için ilk cümlede yer bilgisini verin, ikinci cümlede görevlerinizi mantıklı bağlaçlarla belirtin ve somut örnekler ekleyin. Cümleleri tamamlayın ve gereksiz tekrar (preparing contracts, reviewing contracts) yerine farklı fiiller kullanın.

예시: I work as a legal counsel at a private firm near the city center. I mainly spend my time drafting and reviewing contracts, advising on compliance issues, and negotiating terms with clients.

제안: Cevap net ancak dil bilgisi hataları ve garip yapı var (“For working because”). Daha akıcı bir yapı kullanın: bir öncül cümleyle görüşünüzü belirtin, ardından bağlaçla (because, since) spesifik nedenler verin. Mesela iş ortamı, imkanlar veya ekip-hiyerarşi hakkında kısa detay ekleyin.

예시: Yes, I think it’s a good place to work because colleagues are very helpful and management supports professional development. For instance, we have regular training sessions and a collaborative culture.

제안: Cevap olumlu fakat tekrarlı ve biraz kaba ifadeli. Tek bir açık konu cümlesiyle başlayın, ardından 1–2 ek cümlede nedenleri mantıklı bağlaçlarla belirtin ve tekrarları çıkarın. ‘It is very easy’ gibi belirsiz ifadeler yerine spesifik fayda (short commute, convenient transport) belirtin.

예시: Yes, I like working there mainly because it’s close to the city center, so my commute is short and convenient. This gives me more free time in the evenings for hobbies and family.

제안: Amaçlarınız net, fakat ifadeler basit ve biraz tekrarlayıcı. Daha doğal bir akış için önceliklerinizi sıralayın ve her hedef için kısa bir neden veya plan ekleyin. Bağlaçlar (first, then, so that) kullanarak mantıklı sıralama yapın ve ‘succeed’ yerine daha spesifik başarı tanımları verin.

예시: First, I plan to pass a professional proficiency exam to strengthen my credentials. After that, I aim to become the team manager so I can lead projects and mentor junior colleagues.

× I work as a legal counsel at a private firm near the city center. I spent most of my time preparing contracts, reviewing contracts, or.

✓ I work as a legal counsel at a private firm near the city center. I spend most of my time preparing and reviewing contracts.

The original sentence mixes present tense ('I work') with past tense ('I spent'), creating a tense inconsistency. Use present simple ('I spend') to match the ongoing nature of the job. Also remove the trailing 'or' and combine parallel actions with 'and'. Suggestion: Keep verb tenses consistent for habitual actions (use present simple) and use parallel structure for lists.

× In my opinion, my work is a good place. For working because I have very helpful colleagues.

✓ In my opinion, my workplace is a good place to work because I have very helpful colleagues.

The original contains awkward phrase 'my work is a good place' and a sentence fragment 'For working because...'. Combine ideas into one grammatically complete sentence. Use 'workplace' or 'place to work' and attach the reason with 'because'. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; ensure each sentence has a subject and a verb.

× Yes, I would like because my company's place is near the city center. It is very easy. My commute is very easy. It is positive situation for me.

✓ Yes, I like it because my company's office is near the city center. My commute is very easy, which is a positive situation for me.

'I would like' is incomplete without an object; use 'I like it' to answer the question. 'Company's place' is awkward; 'company's office' is better. Repeating 'It is very easy' is redundant; combine sentences and use a relative clause ('which is a positive situation for me'). Suggestion: Use clear nouns ('office') and avoid repetition by combining related ideas.

× I would like to pass proficiency exam and I want to be manager in our team. And I want to succeed.

✓ I would like to pass the proficiency exam and become the manager of our team, and I want to succeed.

Include the definite article 'the' before 'proficiency exam'. Use the infinitive 'become' instead of 'be manager' for natural phrasing, and use 'the manager of our team' for correct noun phrase. Combine short sentences to improve flow. Suggestion: Use articles correctly and prefer 'become' for career goals; connect related ideas in one sentence.