Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct place names; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking phrase. Avoid minor factual/name inconsistencies (Freeport vs Fodhpur) and redundant phrasing.

예시: My hometown is Freeport, a small town near Dhaka. In addition, it has a peaceful atmosphere and plenty of green areas, which makes it much less hectic than the capital.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence and then give two specific, connected reasons using linking words (for example, 'first' and 'also'). Avoid vague phrases and correct grammar (e.g., 'full of greenery', 'noise pollution').

예시: I like my hometown mainly because it is calm and full of greenery. For example, there is little noise pollution so the air is fresh, and also the cost of living is low, which makes daily life very convenient.

제안: Answer with the correct tense and a clear topic sentence (e.g., 'I have lived there all my life'). Then add one concise supporting detail about your connection to the place. Avoid overemotive or repetitive statements.

예시: I have lived there all my life; I was born and raised in Freeport. Because I grew up there, I feel very attached to the community and its traditions.

제안: Start with a clear opinion sentence and then give two specific reasons, linked logically. Use correct vocabulary ('noise pollution', 'study attentively') and correct grammar and plural forms. Keep sentences concise and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I think it is a good place for young people because the schools provide a strong education and the calm environment, with low noise pollution, helps students concentrate. In addition, there are nearby parks where young people can relax and exercise.

× My hometown is in Freeport, it's a part of Bangladesh and it is not very far from Dhaka.

✓ My hometown is Freeport; it's a part of Bangladesh and not very far from Dhaka.

Remove unnecessary preposition 'in' before the town name when stating the town directly, and use a semicolon or conjunction to join clauses. Also omit the redundant 'it' before 'is not very far' for conciseness. Suggestion: Say 'My hometown is Freeport' or 'I am from Freeport' and connect the ideas with 'and' or a semicolon.'

× The environment in Fodhpur is quite beautiful.

✓ The environment in Freeport is quite beautiful.

This sentence uses 'Fodhpur' which is a different place name; assuming intended 'Freeport', correct the proper noun. No grammatical tense error. Suggestion: Check place names for accuracy to avoid confusion.

× It's calm, less hectic than Dhaka.

✓ It's calm and less hectic than Dhaka.

Add the conjunction 'and' to join coordinate adjectives/clauses. Without 'and' the sentence is a comma splice; joining with 'and' creates a clear comparison. Suggestion: Use 'and' when linking two descriptions of the same subject.

× As I mentioned before, it is very calm and it's full with green, so it's the main thing I like about it.

✓ As I mentioned before, it is very calm and full of greenery, so that's the main thing I like about it.

Use 'full of' not 'full with' and use 'greenery' (a noun) instead of 'green'. Also replace 'it is'+'it' repetition with 'that's' for naturalness. Suggestion: Use 'full of' for contents and 'greenery' to refer to plants collectively.

× There is no sound pollution there and you can breathe fresh air.

✓ There is no noise pollution there, and you can breathe fresh air.

Use the collocation 'noise pollution' rather than 'sound pollution'. The rest is correct; add a comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: Learn common collocations like 'noise pollution'.

× Also everything is quite cheap and everything is convenient like you can have.

✓ Also, everything is quite cheap and convenient; you can get whatever you need easily.

Original sentence is awkward and incomplete ('like you can have' is not a proper clause). Rephrase to express meaning clearly: combine adjectives and complete the second clause. Suggestion: Avoid repeating words and ensure comparative clauses are complete.

× I lived there for my entire life.

✓ I have lived there my entire life.

Use present perfect 'have lived' to indicate an action continuing up to the present. 'Lived' (simple past) suggests the action ended in the past. Suggestion: Use present perfect for life experiences that continue to now: 'I have lived...'.

× I was born there, raised up there and it is the best city I have ever seen and I love that place very much.

✓ I was born and raised there; it is the best city I have ever seen, and I love that place very much.

Combine 'born and raised' for idiomatic expression; remove 'up' after 'raised'. Use semicolon or commas to join clauses. Tenses are appropriate: past for birth/raising, present perfect for experience, present for feelings. Suggestion: Use idiomatic phrase 'born and raised' and punctuation to clarify sentence structure.

× I will say it is a very good place for young people because schools there are very good at education and the environment is calm and there is no nurse pollution so students can study day they attentively and there is parks nearby so student can go.

✓ I would say it is a very good place for young people because the schools there provide a good education, the environment is calm and there is no noise pollution, so students can study attentively during the day, and there are parks nearby for students to visit.

Multiple errors corrected: 'I will say' is unnatural here—'I would say' is more appropriate for opinion. Use 'the schools' with article and 'provide a good education' (correct collocation). Change 'nurse pollution' to 'noise pollution'. Fix word order 'study attentively during the day'. Use plural agreement 'there are parks' and 'students' plural. Replace 'so student can go' with 'for students to visit'. Suggestion: Use 'would say' for opinions, check collocations (provide education, noise pollution), ensure subject-verb and plural agreement, and correct word order for adverbials.