Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法や語彙の誤り、不自然な表現が見られます。例えば “classes of university” は “university classes” または “my classes at university” が自然です。 “after my crisis” は意味が不明瞭なので、具体的に “after my classes” や “when I feel tired” のように言い換えるべきです。回答は冗長で同じ内容が繰り返されているため、主文＋1〜2の補足で5文以内にまとめるとよいです。リンク語（because, so, when）を適切に使い、理由や頻度を具体的に述べてください。

예시: I usually eat snacks after my classes at university because I often feel tired. For example, I tend to have a piece of fruit or a chocolate bar around 4 p.m. to help me concentrate during evening study sessions.

제안: 答えは明確ですが、冗長で文法の誤りが多いです。 “that kinds of snacks” は “those kinds of snacks” または “that kind of snack” に直す必要があります。主張→理由→具体例の順で短くまとめ、同じフレーズを繰り返さないようにしてください。また “high calorie” の代わりに “high-calorie” とハイフンを使うとより自然です。改善のために具体的な代替案（健康的なスナック）を一つ添えると説得力が増します。

예시: No, I don't think it's healthy because I often choose high-calorie snacks like chips and candy. Instead, I try to have healthier options such as yogurt or nuts when I want a quick bite.

제안: 内容は伝わりますが、時制の一致や表現の自然さを改善してください。過去の話なので現在形の “I often eat” は “I often ate” に変えるべきです。列挙の “and so on” は具体性に欠けるため、具体的な例を2つ程度に絞って述べると良いでしょう。文をつなぐ際は linking words（for example, such as, and）を自然に使い、冗長な語（yeah, so I had a time）を省きます。

예시: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. For example, my mother would prepare small cakes or sliced vegetables with dip for me after school.

제안: 回答は繰り返しが多く、ため息や不必要な声（MMM, yeah）を省く必要があります。現在の習慣を述べる際は簡潔なトピック文（I usually snack on ...）を使い、理由を一つ示し、具体例や頻度を短く添えると良いです。語彙も繰り返しを避け代替語（sweets, treats, chocolate）を適切に使ってください。

예시: Recently I usually snack on chocolate because I often feel tired while studying. For instance, I might have a small dark chocolate bar during a late-night study session to boost my energy.

× I usually eat snacks after my classes of university because I feel tired after my crisis and I want to eat some sweet snacks.

✓ I usually eat snacks after my university classes because I feel tired after my classes and I want to eat some sweet snack.

The phrase 'classes of university' is incorrect; use 'university classes' or 'classes at university' (preposition/word order issue). 'After my crisis' is unclear and likely a wrong word choice; 'after my classes' fits context. 'Some sweet snacks' can be simplified to 'some sweet snack' or 'a sweet snack.' Ensure prepositions and noun order are natural. Suggestions: use 'after my university classes' or 'after my classes at university' and replace 'crisis' with 'classes' or another intended noun.

× I don't think so because I usually eat some high calorie snacks so I don't think it is healthy for me to eat that kinds of snacks.

✓ I don't think so because I usually eat high-calorie snacks, so I don't think it is healthy for me to eat those kinds of snacks.

Use of 'some' before a general plural noun is unnecessary here; 'high-calorie snacks' is better. 'That kinds' is ungrammatical: use 'those kinds' for plural. Hyphenate 'high-calorie.' Also combine clauses with a comma before 'so.' Suggestion: use 'those kinds of snacks' for plural reference and 'high-calorie snacks.'

× Yes, I often eat snacks. When I was young, yeah, my mother made me some snacks like chips or vegetables, a little cake and so on, so I had a time to eat snacks.

✓ Yes, I often ate snacks. When I was young, my mother made me snacks like chips, vegetables, and a small cake, so I had time to eat snacks.

The question asked about past habit ('Did you often eat snacks when you were young?'), so use past tense 'ate' not present 'eat.' 'A little cake' is better as 'a small cake.' 'Had a time to eat snacks' is unnatural; use 'had time to eat snacks.' Remove filler 'yeah.' Suggestion: match tense to question and use natural collocations ('had time').

× MMM recently I love to eat chocolate for snacks because yeah when I study I get tired usually and I I usually want to get some sweets so I usually eat snacks.

✓ Recently I have loved eating chocolate as a snack because when I study I usually get tired and want something sweet, so I often eat snacks.

Use present perfect 'have loved' or simple present 'love' with 'recently' often pairs with present perfect to indicate a recent change. 'For snacks' is better as 'as a snack.' Word order: 'when I study I usually get tired' is acceptable but combine adverbs properly: 'I usually get tired when I study.' Avoid repeated 'I' and duplicate 'usually.' Use 'something sweet' rather than 'some sweets' for desire. Suggestion: streamline sentences and place adverbs correctly ('usually get tired when I study', 'often eat snacks').