Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more direct and concise with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh) and repetition, and add a brief specific detail about frequency. Use one linking phrase if adding a reason.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and I shop for them about once or twice a month. I usually buy online because it’s more convenient and I can browse many styles quickly.

제안: Start with a clear affirmative topic sentence, remove hesitation words, and use linking words to connect reason and detail. Be specific about how you compare (e.g., reading reviews, checking size charts).

예시: Yes, I often buy shoes online because it’s convenient. For example, I compare styles, read customer reviews, and check size charts to make sure they fit.

제안: Provide a direct numeric or range answer as topic sentence, avoid vague phrases and unclear ending. Explain briefly how comparing helps you save money and give an example price range.

예시: I don’t spend a lot — usually around $30 to $60 per pair. I compare prices across sites and wait for discounts so I can buy good quality shoes at a reasonable price.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then add a concise reason with a linking word. Use correct grammar (singular/plural) and a specific example of situations when comfort matters.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because I wear them for long periods. For example, when I walk or work all day, comfortable sneakers prevent soreness, whereas fashionable heels often hurt my feet.

× I should say yes, I buy shoes very often.

✓ I would say yes; I buy shoes very often.

Using 'should' here is inappropriate for giving an opinion. 'Would say' or 'I'd say' is the correct modal expression to indicate a personal opinion. Use a semicolon or a conjunction to connect the two clauses.

× For example, I usually use a website, so I usually buy, uh shoes online.

✓ For example, I usually use a website, so I usually buy shoes online.

There is an unnecessary comma and filler 'uh' that interrupts the verb phrase; remove the comma and filler. The structure 'buy shoes online' is correct without extra punctuation.

× Yes I have and also I usually uh use website to buy some shoes because it is more convenient and I can compare their styles and size quickly.

✓ Yes, I have, and I usually use a website to buy shoes because it is more convenient and I can quickly compare their styles and sizes.

Missing commas for clarity and the article 'a' before 'website' is required (article error but handled within pronoun/article fix). 'Their' refers to shoes (acceptable), but 'size' should be plural 'sizes' to match 'styles'. Move adverb 'quickly' to natural position after 'can'.

× Not that much because I usually compare each shoes so I try to buy in reasonable price. So in short, I usually not.

✓ Not that much because I usually compare each pair of shoes, so I try to buy them at a reasonable price. So in short, I usually don't.

'Each shoes' is incorrect: use 'each pair of shoes' or 'each shoe'. 'Buy in reasonable price' should be 'buy them at a reasonable price' (preposition 'at' and pronoun 'them' needed). The final fragment 'I usually not' needs auxiliary 'do' for negation: 'I usually don't.'

× I usually prefer comfortable one because a fashionable shoes looks good though, but when I put them on my feet it is not that convenient and feel weird.

✓ I usually prefer comfortable ones because fashionable shoes look good, but when I put them on my feet they are not that comfortable and feel strange.

Mix of singular/plural and pronoun errors: 'comfortable one' should be 'comfortable ones' to match plural 'shoes', and 'a fashionable shoes' is wrong — use 'fashionable shoes' (no 'a'). Verb agreement: 'shoes look' (plural) not 'looks'. 'It is not that convenient' should be 'they are not that comfortable' to match plural subject. Use 'feel strange' instead of 'feel weird' for natural phrasing.