Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: حاول أن تكون إجاباتك أكثر تنظيماً ونحوية صحيحة. ابدأ بجملة موضوعية واضحة، ثم قدّم تفاصيل داعمة محددة واستخدم عبارات ربط بسيطة (مثل "and", "because", "for example"). تجنّب الترداد والكلمات الحشو مثل "umm" و"I like" المكررة، واحرص على ألا تتجاوز 4-5 جمل. مثال عملي: قل لماذا تحب الرسم (التخيل، التعبير) ولماذا تحب السباحة (التمارين، الاسترخاء) مع أمثلة قصيرة.

예시: I have several hobbies. For example, I enjoy drawing because it lets me imagine and create my own little worlds on paper. I also like swimming because it keeps me fit and helps me relax after a busy day.

제안: حسّن القواعد وترتيب الكلمات واذكر تفاصيل محددة مدعومة بربط واضح. ابدأ بجملة رئيسية ثم صف متى وكيف ولماذا استمريت أو توقفت. تجنّب التكرار (مثل "I I") واستخدم زمن ماضٍ صحيح (used to, was/ were).

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child I used to go horse riding every weekend, and I found it very exciting. Over time I practiced a lot and became quite skilled at it.

제안: تجنّب القول أن النوم هواية لأن ذلك يبدو غير مقنع. إذا ذكرت ذلك، فسّره بطريقة منطقية مع أمثلة. حسّن القواعد (since/when) والتركيب: ابدأ بجملة موضوع ثم أضف سبباً أو مثالاً مختصراً. استخدم تعابير مناسبة مثل "as a child" و"now" للتباين بين الماضي والحاضر.

예시: I used to enjoy sleeping a lot when I was a child because it felt relaxing and restful. However, now I have other hobbies like drawing and swimming that keep me more active.

제안: انتبه لتركيب الجمل والمفردات الصحيحة (an artist, draws amazingly). ابدأ بجملة واضحة عن مدى تشارك الهوايات ثم قدّم أمثلة محددة عن كيف تعلمت أو ماذا ترسم. استخدم أدوات ربط لشرح العلاقة بتفصيل قصير.

예시: Yes, I share some hobbies with my family. My mother is an artist and she paints beautifully, so I learned drawing from her. I often paint small pictures at home inspired by her techniques.

× I do have a hobbies.

✓ I do have a hobby.

The noun 'hobbies' is plural but the article 'a' requires a singular noun. Use 'a hobby' for one or remove 'a' to keep plural: 'I do have hobbies.' Improve by matching articles with noun number.

× Umm I do drawing because it makes me imagine my world and do it on a paper I like.

✓ Umm I do drawing because it makes me imagine my world and do it on paper I like.

This sentence has awkward phrasing; 'do drawing' is nonstandard. Better options: 'I draw' or 'I do some drawing.' Also 'on a paper' should be 'on paper' without the article. Use 'I draw because it helps me imagine my world and put it on paper.' Ensure verbs are correctly used in base or -ing forms.

× Also to swim.

✓ I also like to swim.

Fragment lacks a subject and verb. Add 'I' and a verb: 'I also like to swim.' This completes the clause and matches the structure of previous sentences.

× It makes me I don't think it's.

✓ It makes me think; I don't know why.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. Rewriting clarifies intended meaning. Use proper clause structure: subject + verb, and use punctuation or connectors for compound ideas.

× Actually. When I was a child I used to ride horse riding and it was quite excited and by the days I I become the best at it.

✓ Actually, when I was a child I used to go horse riding and it was quite exciting, and over the days I became the best at it.

Use 'go horse riding' or 'ride horses' not 'ride horse riding.' 'Excited' describes a person; 'exciting' describes the activity. 'By the days' is incorrect; 'over the days' or 'over time' works. 'Become' should be past 'became' to match past tense context.

× I do, I do have sleeping that count as a hobby cause when since I was child I loved to sleep.

✓ Yes, I do. I have sleeping that counts as a hobby because since I was a child I have loved to sleep.

'Sleeping' can be used as a noun but needs correct agreement: 'counts' (singular). 'Cause' should be 'because.' 'When since I was child' is redundant; use 'since I was a child.' Maintain tense consistency: 'have loved' or 'loved' works depending on nuance.

× It's so relaxing and it's really doing nothing.

✓ It's so relaxing because you're really doing nothing.

Original uses 'it's really doing nothing' which is awkward. Use an explicit subject 'you' for the gerund 'doing' or rephrase: 'it really involves doing nothing.' This clarifies meaning and corrects verb usage.

× But when I became older I have something to do other than sleep.

✓ But when I became older I had something to do other than sleep.

Tense inconsistency: 'became' (past) should pair with 'had' (past), not 'have' (present). Use consistent past tense for completed past events.

× Well, I do. My mom is a artist.

✓ Well, I do. My mom is an artist.

Use the article 'an' before a vowel sound. 'A artist' is incorrect; 'an artist' is correct. Also pronoun usage 'My mom' is fine.

× She draws an amazing. Ventures and I took this hobby from her and I am an artist too.

✓ She draws amazingly. I took this hobby from her and I am an artist too.

'An amazing' is incorrect; probably intended 'amazingly' (adverb) or 'amazing drawings.' 'Ventures' is unclear and likely wrong; remove it. Use 'I took this hobby from her' (past simple) to indicate origin.

× I draw some of the paints in my home.

✓ I paint some pictures at home.

'Draw some of the paints' is ungrammatical and confusing. Use 'paint' or 'draw' with an object: 'paint some pictures' or 'draw some pictures.' 'In my home' can be 'at home.' This corrects verb-noun collocation and preposition choice.