Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (like "uh"), and give one short reason and one specific detail. Aim for 2–3 sentences and correct grammar (e.g. "most of my" is incomplete).

예시: Yes, I walk a lot. I try to do over 10,000 steps daily for my health, because regular walking helps me stay fit and keeps my energy levels up.

제안: Good content and relevance. Improve coherence and sentence structure: use one clear topic sentence, then a linked supporting detail. Combine short fragments and correct word order.

예시: Yes, I did. I grew up in a rural area, so I had to walk to school every day because my home was quite far from the school.

제안: Avoid ambiguity and filler words. Start with a direct answer (people enjoy parks because...), use linking words (for example, because, so) and provide a specific reason or example. Correct word choices ("working" → "walking" or "spending time").

예시: People like walking in parks because of the natural surroundings. For example, the greenery and fresh air make visitors feel relaxed and more energetic.

제안: Be precise and avoid awkward phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then give a concise reason with an example. Fix verb choices ("work across" → "walk around"), and complete the explanation about "different aspects."

예시: If I had the chance, I'd like to take a long walk along the Yamanote Line in Tokyo, because the neighborhoods around that loop show very different sides of the city, from modern shopping districts to quiet residential streets.

제안: Use clear tense and avoid repetition. Begin with a direct answer ("Lately I have been walking..."), then give one reason and one detail. Remove repeated words and correct verbs ("work around" → "walk around").

예시: Lately I have been walking around my neighborhood in the mornings because I am expecting a baby and no longer commute, so I try to stay active close to home.

× Yes I do, I'm trying to walk over 10,000 steps a day and UH for my health and the most of my UH since.

✓ Yes I do. I'm trying to walk over 10,000 steps a day for my health and for most of my life.

The original contains tense and sentence-structure problems and unclear fragments. 'I'm trying to walk' is present continuous (correct for current habit) but 'and UH for my health and the most of my UH since' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with 'for my health and for most of my life' to convey continuous motivation. Use a period to separate clauses to improve clarity.

× Yes I did, since I lived in a rural area when I was a kid, I had to walk every day. My school was far away, my home.

✓ Yes I did. Since I lived in a rural area when I was a kid, I had to walk every day because my school was far from my home.

The response uses past tense appropriately but the final fragment 'my school was far away, my home' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Combine clauses with 'because' and use correct preposition 'far from' to show distance. Keep past tense 'lived' and 'had' for past habit.

× Well, I can understand why people prefer working in the park. In the park there are many green, uh, scenery, so we which makes us feel more energetic and comfortable.

✓ Well, I can understand why people prefer walking in the park. There is a lot of green scenery in the park, which makes us feel more energetic and comfortable.

'Prefer working in the park' is likely wrong semantically; 'walking' fits the question. 'Many green, uh, scenery' is incorrect: 'scenery' is uncountable, use 'a lot of green scenery' or 'much greenery'. 'So we which makes' is a fragment; use 'which makes' to link the clause. Maintain present simple for general statements.

× I'd like to take a long time. If I have the chance, I'd like to try to work across Yamanote Line in Tokyo. That's because Tokyo has different aspects by.

✓ I'd like to take a long walk. If I have the chance, I'd like to walk around the Yamanote Line in Tokyo because Tokyo has many different aspects.

'Take a long time' is incorrect; the intended phrase is 'take a long walk.' 'Try to work across Yamanote Line' misuses 'work' and omits the article and preposition; use 'walk around the Yamanote Line.' 'Different aspects by' is ungrammatical; use 'many different aspects' and attach it to the reason with 'because.' Keep the conditional 'If I have the chance' and 'I'd like' consistent.

× I currently walk my neighborhood in the morning since I'm I'm expecting a baby recently. Currently so I don't work and I don't need to commute every day so I try to work around the neighborhood.

✓ I currently walk around my neighborhood in the morning because I'm expecting a baby. At the moment I don't work and I don't need to commute every day, so I try to walk around the neighborhood.

Problems: missing preposition 'around' after 'walk', redundant 'currently' and 'recently' with tense mismatch. Use present continuous 'I'm expecting' or present simple 'I expect' — present continuous is correct for a current pregnancy. Replace 'since I'm I'm expecting a baby recently' with 'because I'm expecting a baby.' 'Try to work around' incorrectly uses 'work'; use 'walk around.' Maintain present tense for current routine.