Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct, use correct grammar and fewer repetitions. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix verb forms (e.g., "I go" not "I goes") and avoid repeated words like "goes goes" and "mind facing."

예시: Yes, I walk every morning with my mother. It helps me feel refreshed and energised, and it keeps me healthy because we usually walk briskly for about 30 minutes.

제안: Answer directly in past tense and organize your answer. Avoid hesitations and repeated phrases. Use linking words (e.g., "usually", "often", "because") and give a specific example with correct tense and subjects.

예시: Yes, I often walked outside as a child. For example, my elder sister used to take me to a small garden 10–15 minutes from our home, and we would walk there almost every weekend.

제안: Speak clearly and avoid filler words. Give a concise topic sentence then two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., "because", "also"). Use accurate vocabulary ("fresh air", "pleasant environment").

예시: People like walking in parks because the environment is peaceful and the air is fresh. Also, parks offer facilities like paths and benches, which make walking more enjoyable.

제안: Use conditional structure correctly and be specific. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. State the place, explain why using clear reasons and linking words, and correct grammar ("it makes me fit and clears my mind").

예시: If I had the chance, I would hike to the waterfall near Gowram because hiking would keep me fit and the scenery would help me relax and clear my mind.

제안: Use simple past tense clearly and keep sentences concise. Avoid repeated phrases and make the reason explicit. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason.

예시: I walked to the temple yesterday because my sister was fasting and wanted to visit the temple, so I accompanied her.

× Yes what? Yes definitely walking is my daily routine as I get up early in the morning and goes goes to walk with my mother.

✓ Yes, definitely walking is my daily routine. I get up early in the morning and go for a walk with my mother.

Subject-verb agreement and verb form: 'goes' is incorrect because the subject is 'I', which requires the base form 'go'. Also sentence was run-on; split into two sentences for clarity and added 'for' to form the common collocation 'go for a walk'.

× It is so refreshing and mind facing and mind and also make us healthy and fit.

✓ It is so refreshing and uplifting, and it also makes us healthy and fit.

'Mind facing' is not a correct phrase; 'uplifting' or 'refreshing' fits the meaning. verb agreement: 'make' should be 'makes' because the subject 'it' is singular. Reordered and simplified for clarity.

× Yeah, I often go outside to have a walk.

✓ Yeah, I often went outside to have a walk.

Question asked about past habitual action ('Did you often... when you were a child?'), so the past tense 'went' should be used instead of present 'go' to match the time frame.

× When I wait while I wait for a child, I usually walk with my grandfathers or sister, my elder sister who used to who used to Take Me Out near a garden about 10 to 15 minutes away from our home and I use.

✓ When I was a child, I usually walked with my grandfather or my elder sister, who used to take me to a garden about 10 to 15 minutes away from our home.

Original sentence has repetition, incorrect tense, wrong pronoun forms, and extra words. Replaced 'wait while I wait for a child' with 'was a child' to match meaning. Use past tense 'walked' and 'used to take'. 'Grandfathers' changed to 'grandfather' for likely singular and clarity; remove trailing fragment 'and I use'.

× Peoples, uh, usually like to work in a park because of various reason, some like some the environment, uh, environment and which is refreshing and the air is phrase and gold and also there are lot of things to do umm.

✓ People usually like to walk in a park for various reasons. Some like the pleasant environment, which is refreshing, and the air is fresh and clean. There are also a lot of things to do.

Multiple issues: 'Peoples' should be 'People' (plural noun), 'work' should be 'walk', 'reason' needs plural 'reasons'. Fixed awkward phrasing: 'environment and which is refreshing' -> 'the pleasant environment, which is refreshing'. 'phrase and gold' unclear; likely 'fresh and cool' or 'fresh and clean' so used 'fresh and clean'. Also added 'a' in 'a lot'.

× If I had the chance I would like to go waterfall near Gowram by hiking because it it makes us fit and mind racing and also 11 enjoy enjoyable vacation for our holiday.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to hike to the waterfall near Gowram because it makes us fit and clears the mind, and it would be an enjoyable holiday.

Use 'hike to the waterfall' rather than 'go waterfall by hiking'. Removed duplicate 'it'. 'Mind racing' is unclear; 'clears the mind' conveys the intended meaning. Fixed '11 enjoy enjoyable' to 'would be an enjoyable' and adjusted tense and article usage.

× I went to temple yesterday by walking lately because it was it was when it was my sister fasting and she has to go to temple so I also went it as a friend.

✓ I walked to the temple yesterday because my sister was fasting and had to go to the temple, so I went with her as a companion.

Cleaned up repetitive 'it was it was' and adjusted tense: 'was fasting' (past continuous) and 'had to go' (past) to match 'yesterday'. 'By walking lately' is redundant; 'walked to the temple yesterday' is clearer. 'I also went it as a friend' corrected to 'I went with her as a companion' to fix pronoun and word order errors.