Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers (umm, uh), use correct words (subject vs motive/photo → subject to photograph), and provide one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different landscapes. For example, I often take photos of the sea and forests because I like their colours and textures, but bridges are my favourite since their shapes create dramatic compositions. I also sometimes photograph my girlfriend because her expressions make the pictures more personal.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and support with specific reasons and examples; avoid repetition ("more going on" repeated) and wordiness. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and correct grammar (urban area → urban areas). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer views in urban areas because they are full of activity and visual details. For example, narrow streets, street markets and varied architecture create interesting contrasts that are fun to photograph.

제안: Be decisive and eliminate hesitation phrases ("I mean", "uh"). Start with a clear stance, then give specific reasons and an example. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example" and avoid redundant clauses. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Personally I prefer views in other countries because they offer unfamiliar scenery and cultural details. For example, street scenes and architecture abroad often have colours and styles I don’t see at home, which makes photographing them more inspiring.

× If by views you mean different landscapes then sure.

✓ If by views you mean different landscapes, then sure.

Missing comma after the dependent clause is punctuation rather than an article error; however the sentence has no article errors so no change to articles is needed. Add a comma after 'landscapes' to improve clarity and pause. Note: This entry acknowledges punctuation but does not alter articles as none were incorrect.

× I like taking pictures of umm the sea or umm uh, pictures of forest.

✓ I like taking pictures of the sea or pictures of forests.

'Forest' should be plural when speaking generally about multiple forest scenes. Use the definite article 'the' with 'sea' when referring to the sea as a general concept. Suggestion: use 'forests' for general plural reference and keep 'the sea'.

× Pictures of bridges I like the most.

✓ I like pictures of bridges the most.

The original word order is awkward. Place the subject 'I' before the verb 'like' and the object phrase after it for natural English word order. Suggestion: Use 'I like X the most.'

× But also I like taking pictures of my girlfriend because I think she is the best motive you can photo.

✓ But I also like taking pictures of my girlfriend because I think she is the best subject you can photograph.

Wrong word choices: 'motive' is incorrect for photographic context; 'subject' is the appropriate noun. 'Photo' used as a verb is incorrect; correct verb is 'photograph'. Also adverb placement improved by moving 'also' after subject. Suggestion: use 'subject' and 'photograph' and place 'also' after 'But I'.

× I prefer views in urban area because there's more going on there and especially more interesting things going on in such a small, cramped space, which is I think very interesting to look at.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because there's more going on there and especially more interesting things in such a small, cramped space, which I think is very interesting to look at.

Use plural 'areas' when speaking generally. Remove redundant 'going on' repetition and correct clause order: 'which I think is very interesting to look at.' Suggestion: say 'urban areas' and simplify 'more interesting things in such a small, cramped space.'

× I mean, it really, it really depends on what you're looking for, but me personally, I uh, probably like, uh, views in other countries more than in my own because they're more interesting to me and they're not the usual thing that I see and, uh, so.

✓ I mean, it really depends on what you're looking for, but personally I probably prefer views in other countries more than in my own because they're more interesting to me and not the usual things I see.

'Me personally' is informal and incorrect pronoun order; 'personally I' is preferred. Replace 'like' with 'prefer' for clarity. Remove filler and redundant clauses. Change 'the usual thing that I see' to plural 'usual things I see' to match 'they're.' Suggestion: streamline sentence and ensure pronoun-subject order is correct and number agreement between 'they're' and 'things'.