Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and accurate: begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct grammar (give → gives; a special feelings → a special feeling), and limit to 2–3 supporting sentences. Add a brief specific detail (what you photograph and why) and use linking words for coherence.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views in my free time. I usually photograph landscapes and city skylines because they give me a peaceful feeling and help me relax. For example, last weekend I photographed a riverside sunset, which helped me unwind after a busy week.

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and correct inaccuracies (urban areas are usually busy, not quiet). State your true preference and give a specific reason with linking words. Keep to 2–3 supporting sentences and correct grammar (living → in, a very quiet place → a quieter environment).

예시: I prefer rural areas for their natural scenery and fresh air. Although cities offer interesting architecture, I enjoy hiking in the countryside because trails are peaceful and the views are more varied. For instance, I often visit nearby hills for panoramic vistas and quiet walks.

제안: Make a concise, direct statement and provide specific reasons and examples. Avoid repetition and improve grammar (I love to → I love seeing; the view of the other country → views of other countries). Mention what appeals to you about those places (culture, landscapes) and use linking words.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy experiencing different landscapes and cultures. For example, California appeals to me for its dramatic coastlines, while South Korea attracts me with its mix of mountains and modern cities. Visiting these places gives me new photographic subjects and fresh inspiration.

× Yes, I do, uh, in my free time, I really love doing like this because it give me, it gives me a special feelings and, uh, relaxing myself.

✓ Yes, I do. In my free time, I really love doing things like this because it gives me special feelings and helps me relax.

Multiple issues: 'doing like this' is unnatural — use 'doing things like this' (correct noun phrase). 'give me, it gives me' is redundant; keep one verb. 'give' should be 'gives' to agree with singular subject 'it' (subject-verb agreement; Grammar Problem Type ID 27), and 'special feelings' should be 'special feelings' without article 'a' because 'feelings' is plural (Grammar Problem Type ID 1). 'relaxing myself' is incorrect word order and use; use 'helps me relax' (correct verb + object construction). Suggestion: simplify the sentence into clear clauses with correct subject-verb agreement and natural collocations.

× So I, I do that when I have a spare time.

✓ So I do that when I have spare time.

'a spare time' is incorrect because 'time' in this context is uncountable; remove the article 'a' (Grammar Problem Type ID 1). Also remove repeated 'I' and unnecessary commas to make the sentence fluent.

× Mostly I prefer living urban areas because it is very quiet place and atmosphere is very clean.

✓ Mostly I prefer living in urban areas because they are very quiet and the atmosphere is very clean.

Several issues: 'living urban areas' needs preposition 'in' (Grammar Problem Type ID 11). 'it is very quiet place' is wrong because 'place' is countable and refers to 'areas' (plural), so use 'they are very quiet' to agree with plural (Grammar Problem Type ID 27). Also add 'the' before 'atmosphere' to specify it (Grammar Problem Type ID 17). Suggestion: ensure correct prepositions and subject-verb agreement when referring to plural nouns.

× Uh, uh, and uh, in my free time, I love hiking. So mostly I prefer.

✓ In my free time, I love hiking, so I mostly prefer rural areas for views.

The original ends with an incomplete clause 'So mostly I prefer.' which lacks an object and is a sentence structure error (Grammar Problem Type ID 26 and 23 if considered lacking verb/object). Clarify the preference and complete the idea. Suggestion: always finish comparative statements with what is preferred (e.g., 'I prefer rural areas').

× Mostly I love to I I like to see other countries, the view of the other country, especially United States, California or South Korea.

✓ Mostly I like to see other countries and their views, especially places like California in the United States or South Korea.

Problems: repeated words 'to I I' and awkward phrase 'the view of the other country' — confusing structure (Grammar Problem Type ID 26). Also country names should be presented with correct phrasing: 'California in the United States' or 'the United States, California' is unclear. Suggest rephrasing to a parallel structure 'see other countries and their views' and give examples correctly. Remove repetitions and ensure clarity.

× And and other place are famous and natural.

✓ Other places are famous for their natural beauty.

Issues: repetition 'And and' and 'other place are' — 'place' should be plural 'places' to agree with 'are' (Grammar Problem Type ID 1 and 27). 'famous and natural' is awkward; use 'famous for their natural beauty' for a natural collocation (Grammar Problem Type ID 13). Suggestion: use plural nouns to match verbs and prefer common adjective+noun collocations.